TVDC 21: Afraid

He Zhiyuan said, “I thought you were crying.”

Qiu Xuning pressed his lips together, his cheeks puffing slightly as he glared at him and said, “Do you just really want to see me make a fool of myself?”

Even his glare was soft and weak, carrying no real force.

He Zhiyuan let go of Qiu Xuning’s hand and denied it. “No.”

Qiu Xuning lowered his head, staring at the tips of his shoes, and muttered, “I wasn’t crying. I’m not that much of a crybaby.”

He Zhiyuan looked down at him, seeing only the fluffy top of his head. He had never noticed before but Qiu Xuning’s hair was so dark and smooth, obediently falling along the curve of his head, just like the boy himself, well-behaved and quiet. It made his skin look even paler, and his black eyes all the brighter.

“Your head’s better now,” He Zhiyuan said.

Feeling his gaze fixed on him, Qiu Xuning lifted his face slightly, glanced at him, and touched the spot on his head where he had been hit. “Mm, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

He Zhiyuan seemed to fall into thought. Then he pulled a small stack of pink sticky notes from his pocket and handed them to Qiu Xuning.

Qiu Xuning froze for a moment, then reached out to take them. “Why are you giving me this?”

He Zhiyuan said, “I won’t go to the repair shop anymore.”

Qiu Xuning lifted his eyes to him, those clear black pupils shining faintly. “Really?”

He Zhiyuan looked at him, the corners of his lips tilting slightly. “On one condition that you give me a paper crane.”

Of course, Qiu Xuning agreed right away. “Alright, it’s a deal. Let’s pinky promise…” He stopped, then said a little embarrassedly, “Forget it, no need for that.” They weren’t kids anymore.

But He Zhiyuan reached out a hand and said, “Pinky promise.”

Qiu Xuning glanced at his face, his tone turning playful. “Seriously? Only kids do that.”

He Zhiyuan just stared at him without a word, until Qiu Xuning couldn’t hold out anymore and reluctantly hooked his pinky around He Zhiyuan’s finger.

From this angle, He Zhiyuan’s fingers were clearly much longer and thicker than his. Qiu Xuning’s hands looked almost like a girl’s. It was slender with no sharp joints to speak of.

Qiu Xuning’s gaze lingered for a while on He Zhiyuan’s hand, which already carried the outline of a man’s, and only when their fingers parted did he slowly draw his eyes back.

He Zhiyuan, of course, could sense the envy in that look. Lowering his eyes slightly, he stared at Qiu Xuning’s face, his voice dropping lower, heavier. “The paper crane. Give it to me tonight.”

Of course, Qiu Xuning agreed without hesitation. He pressed his lips together in a smile and said softly, “Alright, I’ll give it to you tonight.”

After a pause, the smile faded from his face. Staring at He Zhiyuan’s chin, he asked in a low voice, “Um… does giving someone a paper crane mean something?”

He Zhiyuan stayed silent.

“…I was just asking. If you don’t want to say, then forget it,” Qiu Xuning said.

He Zhiyuan spoke. “The paper crane is the only thing I know how to fold.”

Qiu Xuning realized what he meant and couldn’t help but laugh. His soft pink lips revealed small white teeth, the tips of his canines showing as well. After only a moment, he quickly pressed his lips together again, cheeks puffing slightly as he forced the smile back down before saying, “That’s already amazing. I can’t do anything either. The paper crane is the only thing I can fold too, and you’re the one who taught me.”

He Zhiyuan looked at him and asked, “Why won’t you laugh?”

“Huh?”

He Zhiyuan said, “I’m asking you, why won’t you laugh?”

Qiu Xuning’s smile carried a pure, childlike brightness, like a flower bud touched with morning dew suddenly blooming. It was fresh and endearing, enough to sweep away any gloom yet he always seemed too reserved. The moment he smiled, he would immediately press his lips together, forcing the expression back down.

He Zhiyuan’s gaze fell again on those lips. It was naturally full, but reduced to just two faint red lines when Qiu Xuning pressed them shut. “If you keep pressing your lips like that, they’ll disappear. It’s ugly.”

Those lips, pressed into two faint red lines, immediately relaxed, plumping up like petals. It was soft at a glance. Qiu Xuning said, “How is that ugly?”

He Zhiyuan replied, “Very ugly.”

Then, after a pause, those pale eyes glimmered with a trace of amusement. “Now it looks good.”

Catching the faint smile on his face, Qiu Xuning’s heart suddenly raced, his cheeks blooming red. His lips parted and was just about to say something, when a clear voice called from behind him—“Qiu Xuning!”

The newcomer was a girl with a high ponytail, a smooth forehead, and bright eyes. She bore a striking resemblance to Gao Yuanyuan, very beautiful.

Qiu Xuning turned his head, letting out a small sigh of relief, and muttered in complaint, “Why do you always call out from behind and scare me?”

Yang Siyue was the chemistry class representative. Since she and Qiu Xuning had things to talk about in that subject, the two of them got along fairly well. Hearing his complaint, she didn’t take it to heart. With a cheerful laugh, she said, “That’s just because you’re such a scaredy-cat. I just called your name and you’re already spooked?”

She walked up to him, and when she saw He Zhiyuan standing in front of Qiu Xuning, she froze for a moment. “Oh, is this your friend?”

Qiu Xuning glanced at He Zhiyuan and said, “He’s my cousin. He studies at No. 1 High.”

Yang Siyue immediately called out cheerfully to He Zhiyuan, “Hello, Qiu Xuning’s gege! I’m Qiu Xuning’s classmate, sitting right behind him.”

He Zhiyuan looked at her for a moment, without any reaction or indication, and the atmosphere inexplicably grew a little stiff. Qiu Xuning felt a bit awkward and whispered to Yang Siyue, “My cousin is shy.”

Yang Siyue nodded understandingly, then smiled and said to He Zhiyuan, “Class is about to start, so Qiu Xuning and I are going in first. Goodbye, gege!”

He Zhiyuan turned his head to look at him, his tone much colder. “See you tonight.”

Qiu Xuning quickly nodded and said, “See you tonight.”

After He Zhiyuan walked away, Yang Siyue asked, “Is he really your cousin?”

Qiu Xuning nodded. “Yeah.”

Yang Siyue replied, “He doesn’t seem like it. Is he your real cousin?”

Qiu Xuning wasn’t entirely sure, but it should be the case, so he nodded.

Yang Siyue said, “Your gege is so handsome. I could totally go for him.”

Qiu Xuning couldn’t help but glance at her, and Yang Siyue quickly added, “How about I be your sister-in-law?”

Qiu Xuning didn’t know why, but he suddenly hesitated. Even though he knew Yang Siyue was only joking, he still didn’t want to say something just to play along.

Yang Siyue looked at him and couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, alright, I was only kidding. Your cousin doesn’t look very easy to get along with anyway. I prefer warmhearted guys.”

Qiu Xuning let out a breath of relief, nodded in agreement, and said, “Yeah, he’s not very easy to get along with.”

Yang Siyue said, “Let’s go. There are still twenty minutes left for morning reading, we’d better hurry to the classroom.”

Qiu Xuning gave a soft “mm” in reply and followed Yang Siyue through the school gates.

…

That afternoon after school, Qiu Xuning was the first to get home. He still had the folded paper crane clutched in his hand. His fingers were fairly nimble, and although the crane he made looked a little clumsy, it was still decent enough. He felt quite satisfied with it himself, and couldn’t wait to hand the paper crane over to He Zhiyuan.

Just then, Qiu Shuohai suddenly leaned over, snatched the paper crane from his hand, and said with a grin, “You folded this? Looks pretty nice.”

Qiu Xuning didn’t really mind Zhou Mingmei and the others, but when it came to Qiu Shuohai, he always hated being around him, barely even willing to speak to him. Ever since that time Qiu Shuohai tore up his test paper, Qiu Xuning had kept his distance even more. He never expected Qiu Shuohai to come and bother him again now.

“…Give it back. I need it,” Qiu Xuning said, lips pressed tightly together, his eyes wide as he stared at him.

Qiu Shuohai looked at his face and said with a squinting smile, “If I don’t give it back, you’re not gonna start crying again, are you?”

Qiu Xuning drew in a sharp breath and said, “Forget it. If you want it, then take it. I’m going back to my room to do homework.”

Qiu Shuohai suddenly threw an arm around him in a mock-friendly gesture and said, “Ningning, didn’t I tell you last time I went gambling a few rounds? I lost two thousand, sure, but I’ve won some back recently. Got a bit of cash on hand, want me to give you some spending money?”

Caught in Qiu Shuohai’s grip, Qiu Xuning’s whole body bristled, every hair standing on end. What made it worse was that Qiu Shuohai was only wearing a sweater, and he could feel the heat radiating steadily through it. His voice shot up sharply, “Let go! I don’t like this!”

Even though he raised his voice, it still sounded thin and carried no real threat. Qiu Shuohai didn’t take it seriously at all. Grinning, he said, “Is that so? I’m your ge, what’s wrong with giving you a hug? Why are you acting all shy like some girl? Are you a girl? Huh? Let me see if you are.”

As Qiu Shuohai spoke, his hand started to move lower. Qiu Xuning’s eyes instantly filled with tears as he choked out, “If you keep this up, I’ll tell Mom.”

Qiu Shuohai’s expression darkened. He shoved Qiu Xuning away and cursed, “Tattle-tale. I’m just messing around with you and you run off to snitch, what the hell’s wrong with you?”

He still had the paper crane in his hand. Glancing down at it, he tore it to pieces right in front of Qiu Xuning. “Folding this crap women play with.”

After Qiu Shuohai left, Qiu Xuning’s whole body went limp. He collapsed onto the floor, still cold with fear inside. Just now, Qiu Shuohai had nearly touched him. Even if it might have only been some kind of “joke” between boys, he was still terrified.

Even with Qiu Shuohai gone, a mist of tears still welled up in Qiu Xuning’s beautiful eyes.

When He Zhiyuan pushed the door open, what he saw was Qiu Xuning sitting on the floor, his eyes brimming with tears.

He Zhiyuan’s expression darkened slightly. Without even bothering to change his shoes, he stepped straight into the room, walked up to Qiu Xuning, and looked down at him. “Why are you crying?”

Qiu Xuning hurriedly wiped at his tears, clearing them away in a few quick swipes. His voice still carried a bit of a nasal tone as he said, “Nothing, it’s just… something got in my eye. It was uncomfortable, so I cried a little. Feels much better now.”

He Zhiyuan’s gaze dropped to the pink scraps of paper at Qiu Xuning’s feet, but he didn’t say anything.

Following his gaze, Qiu Xuning also noticed the scraps by his feet. He froze for a moment, falling silent.

He Zhiyuan asked, “Who tore it?”

Qiu Xuning’s lips moved, but he couldn’t get the words out.

“Qiu Shuohai?” He Zhiyuan spoke the name directly.

Qiu Xuning didn’t deny it. He Zhiyuan set down his schoolbag and looked at him. “You cried just for this?”

There was no way Qiu Xuning could tell him that it was because Qiu Shuohai had put an arm around him and left him so frightened he broke down in tears. So he glossed over it vaguely, only to suddenly remember that he had just claimed it was because something got in his eye. The realization made him instantly feel awkward.

He Zhiyuan didn’t notice the embarrassment on his face. His gaze stayed lowered on the torn scraps scattered across the floor, a heavy, brooding darkness flickering deep in his eyes. His voice dropped as well. “Don’t cry anymore.”