TVDC 53: Possessiveness

Qiu Xuning’s cheeks were as red as a ripe fruit, and it seemed like they would burst with juice if poked. His reaction was like a little kitten whose tail had been stepped on, and all its fur stood up.

He Zhiyuan looked at Qiu Xuning like this, his eyes shifted slightly, but he didn’t say anything.

Qiu Xuning’s face turned as red as a cooked shrimp, even his thin eyelids turned red. “You say such things, aren’t you ashamed, you narcissist!”

He also knew his reaction was too extreme, and once he calmed down, he began to panic and try to save face.

“Narcissist?” He Zhiyuan curled his lips and asked in a low voice, “Is it just me who’s narcissistic? You don’t like me?”

His attitude was too calm, so calm that it made Qiu Xuning’s reaction seem even more exaggerated.

Qiu Xuning looked at He Zhiyuan like this and slowly calmed down, but his face was still very red, his tone was weak, and his eyes didn’t dare to look at He Zhiyuan’s face at all.

“A person can like many people, I like you, and me liking Qin Shouze doesn’t contradict each other.”

Just now, he actually had the illusion that He Zhiyuan knew everything.

But He Zhiyuan was so calm and composed, as if he didn’t think there was anything wrong with what he said, so it probably wasn’t the kind of meaning he thought it was.

No, maybe not, He Zhiyuan should also like guys.

Qiu Xuning just remembered, He Zhiyuan has another identity—he is the antagonist in a BL novel and also the pursuer of the male lead, Yi Yang. If he doesn’t like guys, how could he pursue the male lead?

Qiu Xuning realized he had always ignored this issue, even though this fact was right in front of him, he had always ignored it.

Qiu Xuning’s heart suddenly began to race, and he couldn’t help but raise his eyes to look at He Zhiyuan’s face. But as soon as he lifted his face, he almost bumped into He Zhiyuan’s face. He was startled and fell backward.

Luckily, He Zhiyuan was quick to react, grabbing Qiu Xuning’s hand and pulling him back.

Qiu Xuning grabbed He Zhiyuan’s arm again, still shaken, and took a moment to calm down. Just as he was about to say something, he heard He Zhiyuan speak again, “You’re right, but I only want you to like me.”

Qiu Xuning paused, just as he was about to ask something, but silently swallowed it back.

“Is that not okay?” He Zhiyuan’s voice lowered slightly.

Qiu Xuning felt his breath heat up a bit. “You’re being unreasonable.”

He said, almost becoming frustrated, wondering why he ended up talking about this topic.

He Zhiyuan stepped back a little, hearing what he said, he smiled, but suddenly stopped smiling. He looked deeply at Qiu Xuning, and said in a low voice, “Qiu Xuning, I’ve told you before, I’m very greedy, and even now, I still stand by this, do you understand what I mean?”

Qiu Xuning froze for a moment, his eyelids trembled slightly, he looked up at him, then lowered his eyes again, and said in a soft voice, “… I–I don’t really understand.”

If it’s just the kind of possessiveness that a child has, it would be better if he didn’t understand.”

He Zhiyuan reached out and pulled off his swim cap, and his soft black hair instantly stood up. He Zhiyuan reached out and combed through his hair, then messed it up again, before saying in a low voice, “You don’t understand, but you will understand in the future. Now let’s go back, you’ve been soaking for too long.”

He Zhiyuan didn’t explain anything about what he had just said, and after Qiu Xuning calmed down, he felt that their previous conversation was like a dream, and like waking from a dream, leaving no trace.

Qiu Xuning was carrying the bag that He Zhiyuan had brought and waited at the door for a while before finally seeing He Zhiyuan walk out.

“Why did you wash for so long?” Qiu Xuning asked softly.

He Zhiyuan glanced at him and didn’t say anything.

Qiu Xuning felt when he got closer, besides the scent of the shower gel, there was also a cool mist.

Qiu Xuning reached out and touched He Zhiyuan’s arm, and sure enough, it was cool. “Did you take a cold shower again?”

He Zhiyuan didn’t answer him.

Qiu Xuning lifted his face to look at him, paused for a moment, and said, “You’re not mad anymore, right?”

He Zhiyuan finally lowered his head and locked eyes with him. “What would I be mad about?”

Qiu Xuning said, “Because I said, I like Qin Shouze?”

He Zhiyuan said, “I’m not that petty.”

Qiu Xuning thought about it and felt that it made sense. He remembered the question he wanted to ask He Zhiyuan earlier. His lips moved, he wanted to ask, but when it came to his lips, he just couldn’t bring himself to say it.

So what if He Zhiyuan likes guys? They are cousins, and this kind of relationship is too taboo. Qiu Xuning couldn’t even bring himself to think about it.

They will never have any outcome, yet he still foolishly fantasized that He Zhiyuan liked him too.

Qiu Xuning felt a bit bitter in his heart,

He also knew that he was still young and shouldn’t be thinking about such things, but it was probably because he had entered puberty that his thoughts had become restless, and he began to fantasize about things, even having that kind of dream.

Qiu Xuning began to feel some guilt, and he was also relieved that he hadn’t asked it aloud. Whether He Zhiyuan likes guys or girls, he shouldn’t be entangled in this matter anymore.

Their distance like this is already good enough.

When they got home, He Zhiyuan took a basin of water and taught him how to breathe. He said to him, “When you’ve learned how to breathe, then you can go to the swimming pool to learn swimming.”

Qiu Xuning listened, and felt a kind of indescribable disappointment in his heart, but couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.

The tug-of-war between reason and emotion was vividly on display at this moment. He even thought of giving up, thinking he might as well let Qin Shouze teach him instead, yet he couldn’t bear to truly give up the chance of being taught by He Zhiyuan.

Even though Qiu Xuning didn’t want to admit it, the restless heart in his chest truly beat with excessive excitement because of He Zhiyuan’s nearness, and even gave rise to a sense of sweetness. 

Hence, it felt torturous.

A month passed by quickly, and Qiu Xuning had already gone to the swimming pool several times with He Zhiyuan. He had already learned how to breathe, but still couldn’t really swim. Even though He Zhiyuan taught him hand in hand, he still couldn’t learn it.

Qiu Xuning was almost embarrassed. “I told you, I’m really slow at this.”

He Zhiyuan handed him the kickboard and said, “I told you, if you still can’t learn it, then I’ll just keep teaching you.”

Qiu Xuning’s eyelashes trembled. He didn’t dare to look at him. “I might… might really never learn this.”

Swimming also requires talent, and he could tell that he really didn’t have much talent for it. If it weren’t for He Zhiyuan being there, he would have already given up.

He Zhiyuan had also noticed that he had the small habit of retreating whenever he encountered hardship. Now that he was saying such discouraging words, He Zhiyuan’s tone also grew serious. “You just haven’t learned it yet, not that you can’t learn it. Don’t say such discouraging things again.”

Qiu Xuning let out a sigh and didn’t say anything.

“Qiu Xuning, what a coincidence, we meet again.” Qin Shouze walked over with long strides and gave Qiu Xuning a bright, refreshing smile.

It wasn’t really a coincidence; it was as if he had figured out Qiu Xuning’s usual time of coming, and seven or eight times out of ten, they would end up running into each other.

Even the dullest person should have realized that Qin Shouze had ulterior motives, but Qiu Xuning happened to be very slow when it came to this kind of thing and actually thought it was just a coincidence.He looked around and said, “Are you alone? Your cousin didn’t come this time?”

Qin Shouze’s eyebrows twitched slightly, and he said calmly, “They were too lazy to go out, so I came by myself.”

Qiu Xuning lay on the kickboard, his eyelashes still damp, with a faint redness around his eyes that made his cheeks look even paler—almost translucent.

Qin Shouze couldn’t control his gaze as it lingered on his face for a long time. He didn’t even understand why he kept coming over again and again to coincidentally run into Qiu Xuning. Qiu Xuning wasn’t even a girl, so why did he care about him so much?

Maybe it was because he wanted too much to be friends with him, and because Qiu Xuning had always treated him with that indifferent attitude? Don’t they say that what you can’t have always stirs you up inside? It must be because of this that he cared so much about Qiu Xuning.

If he could get closer to Qiu Xuning, would he stop thinking about him all the time?

Qin Shouze didn’t know why, but he really wanted to talk to Qiu Xuning. In fact, just talking to him already made him feel happy.

He Zhiyuan watched as Qin Shouze approached, his brows furrowed tightly, then quickly relaxed, and he turned his face away.

Qin Shouze was also somewhat wary of He Zhiyuan and didn’t dare to get too close to him. Instead, he went around, approached Qiu Xuning from the side, and sat down by the pool.

“You’ve learned how to hold your breath?” Qin Shouze asked him.

“I’ve learned it.” Qiu Xuning held tightly onto the kickboard with both hands. The feeling of having his body half-floating in the water was actually quite strange. The moment he lost the support of the kickboard, he would immediately reveal his awkwardness. He was already used to showing this kind of appearance in front of He Zhiyuan, but in front of outsiders, Qiu Xuning became much more cautious. He carefully glanced at Qin Shouze, tightening his grip on the kickboard a little more, afraid that he might fall off.

Qin Shouze knew that if he said those things about teaching him again, he would probably still be rejected. So he didn’t go asking for trouble again, so as not to make the other feel awkward or annoyed.

He cleared his throat and said, “Qiu Xuning, our class is having a gathering—you’ll come, right?”

Qiu Xuning’s legs were still lightly kicking in the water, and when he heard what Qin Shouze said, he was momentarily stunned. “A gathering? How come I haven’t heard about it?”

Qin Shouze said, “It was just decided last night. It’s not too late for you to know now.”

Qiu Xuning didn’t say anything, and Qin Shouze looked at his fair face and said softly, “It was organized by the class monitor. We were supposed to have the gathering after exams, but a lot of people went traveling, so more than half couldn’t make it and it didn’t happen. Now that the new semester’s about to start, we decided to organize it again.”

Qiu Xuning didn’t really like that kind of social atmosphere, and he wasn’t familiar with many people in the class. Hearing Qin Shouze say that, his first instinct was to refuse. Qin Shouze seemed to know what he was about to say and quickly said, “You don’t have to answer me right now—think about it when you’re back, and then make your decision.”

So Qiu Xuning held back the words he was about to say.

Qin Shouze said, “When you get back… check the class group chat, there should be something mentioned there.”

After the grades were released, quite a few people tagged him, but Qiu Xuning never responded—it seemed he didn’t even log into QQ at all.

Qiu Xuning softly responded, but suddenly felt something was off. He looked up and saw that He Zhiyuan was still there.

In the past few times, He Zhiyuan would always cut Qin Shouze off with a cool, indifferent tone, but now he was quietly watching them talk without saying a word.

Qiu Xuning didn’t know why, but he felt a little guilty. He held onto the kickboard, slowly tiptoeing and half-paddling his way toward He Zhiyuan, and softly asked, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

He Zhiyuan glanced at him. “What am I supposed to say?”

Qiu Xuning didn’t say anything. He carefully looked at the expression on He Zhiyuan’s face, trying to figure something out, but he got nothing.

From where Qin Shouze was sitting, he could see Qiu Xuning’s fair and slender back and waist; even his exposed shoulder blades were delicate and well-defined, spreading slightly with his movements like butterfly wings. His slim waist was faintly visible beneath the water, and even his long, pale legs could be clearly seen.

Qin Shouze knew he was looking at someone of the same sex. Even though Qiu Xuning looked delicate, he had never thought of him as a girl. Yet for some reason, as he looked at this scene, his heartbeat suddenly quickened, a flush of red rose over his cheeks, and his gaze began to waver.

Qin Shouze hadn’t been looking for long when he suddenly felt a gaze pressing down on him—one that couldn’t be ignored. Qin Shouze slightly lifted his gaze and met He Zhiyuan’s sharp, knife-like stare.

Qin Shouze’s face turned pale, and he unconsciously took a step back.