TOW Extra 1- Who took my Cap

Liang Xuan’s little nephew had just turned five. Chubby and fair-skinned, with big round eyes, he looked like one of those little lucky dolls. His cousin’s family brought him over for dinner, and the kid wasn’t shy at all. He leaned on Liang Xuan’s knee, stared at him, and asked, “Why are you so tall?” which made Liang Xuan burst out laughing.

“Don’t spoil him too much,” his cousin said. “He’s a little rascal.”

Halfway through dinner, the boy slipped off his chair and disappeared. Soon enough, there was a thumping noise from upstairs. The boy was running around up there. The cousin was about to go grab him, but Liang Xuan stopped her and said, “Let him be.”

Dinner went late into the evening. By the time everyone was gone, even Liang Xuan felt exhausted. He went into the kitchen to brew some tea, sat in the living room and sipped it slowly, then finally headed upstairs to wash up. On the way past the bedroom, he noticed the door was wide open, lights still on. The cabinets inside had been opened and left in a mess.

The kid really is a handful, Lian Xuan thought.

He went in to tidy up. But when he got to the bottom drawer of the wardrobe, he suddenly froze. There wasn’t much inside. A few postcards his parents had sent him when they were abroad, a long letter from his middle school homeroom teacher, an old photo with his grandparents, and a baseball cap. Gray and black, stitched with the Dodgers’ name, and a flashy, barely legible signature on the left side.

“It’s for you,” Xu Fei had said. “Supposedly signed by Kershaw himself.”

“Happy birthday.”

Liang Xuan sat down cross-legged and rummaged through the drawer again, but the cap was gone. It should’ve been easy to spot.

He closed the drawer and sat there a while longer. His mind was blank. He didn’t even know what he was thinking about. After a long pause, he got up and called his cousin. No answer. So he sent a message.

“Did Qiqi take my baseball cap?”

A while later, she replied.

“Oh no, I just saw this. That little brat stuffed it in his school bag. I’ll bring it back to you.”

Liang Xuan replied, “No need. I’ll come pick it up tomorrow.”

“So sorry,” she wrote. “I’m gonna beat him good. That little devil needs to learn a lesson.”

Liang Xuan chuckled, tossed his phone aside, and went to the bathroom. Steam filled the room, fogging up the mirror. Wrapped in a towel, he reached out and wiped the glass. His own reflection appeared, hazy and wet, droplets trailing from his hairline down his face.

“Liang Xuan.” Xu Fei sat on the sink, legs wrapped around his waist, pulling at his hair. “Did your hair grow out again?”

Liang Xuan stepped back and turned to open the bathroom door. The warm air outside rushed in like a net, catching him off guard.

“I think,” Xu Fei said, “we shouldn’t keep doing this.”

Early the next morning, Liang Xuan drove to his cousin’s house. She apologized over and over and even dragged the boy over by the ear to make him say sorry. The kid had tears in his eyes and mumbled, “I just wanted the baseball cap too…”

His cousin raised her hand to smack him. The boy burst into tears, crying out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Liang Xuan patted his little nephew’s head and took the cap back from his cousin. “Next time I’ll buy you a new one,” he told the boy. “But you can’t just take other people’s things without asking.”

The kid mumbled “I’m sorry” two more times. Liang Xuan crouched down, pinched his wet little cheeks, sighed, and gave him a hug.

He drove home, pulled open the drawer in his bedroom, hesitated for a moment, then decided not to put the cap back. Instead, he turned it around and wore it on his head. Looking at himself in the mirror, he noticed the cap had already started to wear out. Not surprising, really. It had been four years.

“We’re not dating, are we?” He had asked when Xu Fei gave him the cap. Liang Xuan didn’t know why he had asked something so dumb.

He took off the cap, sat on the edge of the bed, and spaced out for a long time. His fingers moved over the signature, rubbing at it until the tail end of the name was starting to fade. A moment later, his phone rang, pulling him back. It was a message from his agent. “Your Awards suit is ready.” Liang Xuan replied, “Okay,” then held the cap and lay back onto the bed.

Xu Fei, he thought.

Xu Fei.

+++

On the second day of Chinese New Year in 2018, Xu Fei came over for dinner at Liang Xuan’s house. Liang Xuan’s whole family was there. Everyone ended up laughing at Xu Fei’s jokes, and the younger ones wouldn’t leave him alone, all wanting to play games with him. Liang Xuan warned him, “Don’t bully the kids.” Xu Fei kicked him.

After half an hour, Xu Fei disappeared from the living room. Liang Xuan went upstairs and found Xu Fei and his nephew huddled in the bedroom, rustling around doing who knows what. Liang Xuan cleared his throat at the door. The little one jumped in fright, his face going pale. “U-uncle,” he stammered, “I wasn’t snooping through your stuff…”

Xu Fei put an arm around him. “Relax. I was the one snooping.” Then told him to go downstairs and grab some candy. The kid bolted like a rabbit, leaving Liang Xuan and Xu Fei alone in the room.

“What’s going on?” Liang Xuan asked. “What were you looking for?”

“Your treasure,” Xu Fei said. “Qiqi told me when he was little, he took one of your baseball caps because he thought it looked cool. Then his mom beat the crap out of him.”

Liang Xuan paused. Xu Fei had already pulled out the cap and was staring at it closely. Liang Xuan licked his lips, then said quietly, “I just…”

“I didn’t know you actually kept this,” Xu Fei cut him off.

Liang Xuan shut his mouth. Under the dim light, Xu Fei looked up at him. Those round eyes, that always-messy short hair, and those thin lips. He had rolled up his sleeves, exposing the edge of a tattoo on his arm, with the cap resting against his forearm. Liang Xuan almost felt like he was dreaming.

“I still have that photo Xie Qinqin took,” Liang Xuan said.

“I saw it,” Xu Fei replied gently. “It was at the very bottom. Do I really look that bad squinting like that?”

Liang Xuan smiled a little. Xu Fei smiled too, sitting there like an invitation that couldn’t be turned down. So Liang Xuan walked over, knelt down, held Xu Fei’s jaw, and kissed him.

“You do look kinda bad,” he said.

Xu Fei bit his lower lip.