TOW Extra 5-

Xu Fei called Liang Xuan and said, “A friend is getting married this weekend,” asking if he wanted to come along. Liang Xuan had no reason to refuse. He reported it to the crew, got the day off, and hopped into Xu Fei’s car. It was only after opening the invitation that he realized the one getting married was Wang Mian.

He still remembered Wang Mian.
Back then, he had gone to his place in Xinjing, and the crew had gotten everyone drunk. He remembered sitting in a corner, watching Xu Fei sit close to Wang Mian, leaning in and talking quietly.
The two of them had been so close, with a kind of natural familiarity and intimacy. Liang Xuan had looked away and downed the small cup of baijiu Cai Jiajun had handed him.

“He’s getting married?” he asked.
Xu Fei gave a low hum in response and said, “They’ve been together since 2015.” He paused, then suddenly turned his head to look at Liang Xuan and asked, “You still remember Wang Mian?”

Of course.
Liang Xuan did not answer. He simply pointed ahead and said, “Eyes on the road.”

Xu Fei hurriedly faced forward again and clumsily steered them onto the highway.

When they arrived, Wang Mian and his husband were already standing at the entrance of the hall, welcoming guests. A small crowd surrounded them, chatting and taking photos with the photographers. But when Liang Xuan and Xu Fei stepped out of the elevator, the whole room instantly fell silent. Everyone turned at once to look at them. The silence was so sharp, it was almost awkward.

Liang Xuan gave a soft cough.
Wang Mian quickly came over, shook his hand, and said, “Welcome, welcome.” Then he turned to Xu Fei and added, “Fu Zichuan is already here.”

Xu Fei smiled and said, “Congratulations,”
then reached out to shake hands with Wang Mian’s husband. The air in the hall finally began to move again.

Liang Xuan stood to the side, watching Xu Fei chat with Wang Mian for a bit. Every so often, someone would walk past, sneaking glances at him, but Liang Xuan paid them no mind. He was long used to it. Fortunately, no one was shameless enough to come up asking for an autograph at a time like this. Only the photographer, looking a bit nervous, raised his hand and asked, “Mr. Liang, Mr. Xu, would you like a photo with the grooms?”

Xu Fei glanced at him.
Liang Xuan did not mind at all and said, “Sure.”
He and Xu Fei went to stand beside Wang Mian.
Wang Mian joked, “After this, we can sell the photo on Taobao.” Only to get a sharp glare from his husband.

After the photo, Wang Mian pointed out where their table was. The two of them made their way into the banquet hall. The place was spacious but only had a dozen or so tables set up, and their table was placed all the way in a corner, where even the lighting was noticeably dimmer.

A young man raised his hand and called out, “Over here!”

Xu Fei went over and sat down next to him. “You’re early.”

“Didn’t have anything else to do,” the young man replied. Then turned to Liang Xuan with a grin and held out his hand. “Hello, Best Actor.”

Liang Xuan shook his hand. He remembered this guy too. Fu Zichuan, one of Xu Fei’s theater friends. He’d seen him before. Xu Fei had gone to see Accelerate! with him. After the movie ended, when Liang Xuan went onstage for the meet-and-greet, he had caught a glimpse of Xu Fei and Fu Zichuan standing together in the crowd.
Back then, he had even thought he was seeing things.

Everyone settled into their seats. Fu Zichuan grumbled to Xu Fei, “They stuck us way back here.”
Then he glanced at Liang Xuan and added,
“But I guess it had to be. Otherwise everyone would just be staring at the Movie King the whole time.”

“Stop calling him Movie King,” Xu Fei said, sounding annoyed. “He has a name.”

Fu Zichuan pulled a face. “I’m just showing respect, you know?” But he stopped teasing Liang Xuan and popped open a bottle of red wine with a loud crack. “Let’s have a little drink first,” he said, pouring for himself and Xu Fei, and reaching for Liang Xuan’s glass as well.

Xu Fei quickly pressed his hand down.
“Liang Xuan doesn’t drink.”

Fu Zichuan raised an eyebrow. “Very domestic of you.” Which earned him a slap to the back of the head from Xu Fei.

Liang Xuan’s lips twitched into a smile. He said nothing, just watched the two banter beside him. Not long after, Xu Fei suddenly stood up. “I’m gonna hit the bathroom,” he said, leaving Liang Xuan and Fu Zichuan alone at the table.

The lighting around them was dim, and more guests were slowly filling the tables.
A few turned their bodies subtly, stealing glances in Liang Xuan’s direction.

Liang Xuan picked up his glass of water and took a few sips. He had barely drunk anything when Fu Zichuan suddenly spoke up, “There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you… but I’ve been too embarrassed.”

Liang Xuan thought to himself, Then maybe you should not ask. But he only set down his glass and turned to look seriously at Fu Zichuan.

The man had a baby face that should have made him look friendly, but the way he lifted his eyebrows felt almost like he was sizing Liang Xuan up with criticism. Liang Xuan could not figure out what he had done to offend him.

Fu Zichuan opened his mouth.
“When exactly did you two get together?”

Liang Xuan’s expression stayed steady.
He said nothing.

Fu Zichuan did not seem to mind. He kept talking to himself, “The day you posted that Weibo… damn, I was shocked. Completely shocked. I always thought you and Xu Fei didn’t get along.
You two worked together, you’re so famous, but he never once mentioned you.”

He made an exaggerated expression, probably trying to show just how blown away he had been.
Then he continued, “When your racing movie came out, I went with Xu Fei to see it. After the screening, you came out for the fan meeting.
I thought for sure Xu Fei would at least go say hello, but instead he just turned and left without a word. He even looked pissed off. I really thought he was jealous of you. I was such an idiot.”

He narrowed his eyes at Liang Xuan.
“You weren’t already together back then, were you?”

Liang Xuan pressed his lips together.

He remembered following the host into the venue.
The carpet was soft underfoot, and behind him, Zhang Jin grumbled quietly, “I should not have worn such thin heels.” She was probably hoping he would turn back and offer his arm, but he ignored her, standing straight and looking out at the sea of black-haired heads in front of him.

The crowd was screaming.
A swarm of young girls surged forward, only to be held back by the security guards.
Liang Xuan glanced idly at their excited faces, his gaze sweeping across them, and then he saw Xu Fei.

He blinked. Then blinked again.
The lights from the ceiling were too bright, casting a soft blur across his vision. But Xu Fei was not looking at him. Xu Fei had his back to him, heading for the exit. A young man followed close behind, reaching out to grab Xu Fei’s arm.

Liang Xuan’s back tensed.

He stared straight at the back of Xu Fei’s head.
At the young man beside him. He thought,
Who is that?

He spent the entire fan meeting thinking about that question.

On the way back, Zhang Jin chatted with him in the car, talking about moving in together.
But Liang Xuan did not hear a word.
He sat there, gripping his phone, wanting to call Xu Fei. Wanting to ask something.
How was the movie?
Did you like it?

But he could not make the call.

Fu Zichuan was still talking. “That must’ve been… what, 2014? No, 2013. Holy shit. Five years already…”

No. Not five, Liang Xuan thought. Eight.

He still remembered the first time he saw Xu Fei, in the corridor on the sixth floor of the Jaffna Hotel. The lighting had been dim. Xu Fei crashed straight into his arms like an overexcited squirrel. A truly one-of-a-kind way to strike up a conversation. That was what Liang Xuan had thought at the time, noticing the look of admiration Xu Fei could not hide in his eyes.

He had long grown numb to that kind of look. But Xu Fei was not like everyone else. Especially that night in the bar, when Xu Fei sang to him, soft and sincere. When Liang Xuan looked over, Xu Fei’s gaze flickered and glowed. Liang Xuan liked being around him. Whether it was riding along the coast of Ceylon together on a motorcycle, or listening to him chatter about small things on set, or holding him steady on his lap, feeling him move and moan.
Xu Fei made him feel light.
He did not want to ruin that simple, easy atmosphere.

So when Xu Fei gave him that baseball cap, Liang Xuan had asked him, “We are not dating, are we?”

He had not meant anything by it.
He had only wanted to gently remind Xu Fei to keep some distance.

But when Xu Fei widened his eyes at him, when he smiled and punched him lightly in the chest, when he turned and walked away without looking back, Liang Xuan regretted it. Instantly.

He just…
He did not understand.
He had never felt anything like that before.

Xu Fei still smiled at him.
Still chatted with him sometimes, still rehearsed lines and scenes together at the set. But once they returned to the hotel, Xu Fei never came looking for him again.

Liang Xuan thought about it for a whole week.
He kept thinking he had to say something to Xu Fei. But he did not know what he was supposed to say.

In the end, he asked him, “Are you mad at me?”

Why had he even asked a question like that?

Xu Fei smiled at him. Slowly and patiently, he said,
“You mean, just because we fucked a few times, I am supposed to be hung up on your dick? Hung up on you? You think if you refuse to have something more with me, I am going to be upset, throw a fit, and be mad at you? Is that what you mean?”

That was not what he meant.
How could it possibly be what he meant?

He just wanted…
He only wanted to apologize to Xu Fei.

Apologize for what?

God, Liang Xuan thought.
He was so terrible at speaking.

He had wasted eight years.

“We were not together back then,” he said.

Fu Zichuan froze for a moment.
Liang Xuan lifted his eyes to look at him and repeated, “We were not together back then.”

Fu Zichuan stayed silent for a long time.
Liang Xuan turned his head and picked up his water glass again. He drank more than half of it in one go before realizing his fingers were clenching the glass too tightly. He forced himself to set it down gently.

“Sorry,” Fu Zichuan said.
“I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.”

Xu Fei came around from the other side.
“What are you two talking about?”
He sat down beside Liang Xuan, leaned his head over for a glance, and immediately frowned. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Who owes you eight million?”

Liang Xuan said, “I need to use the bathroom.”

He stood and politely pushed his chair in a little. Only when he was in front of the mirror, under the warm orange lights, did he realize how bad his expression actually looked.

It was just that…
He had not thought about those memories for a long time. He had forgotten his regrets, his doubts, his timid sense of loss.
He had forgotten the dreams where he saw Xu Fei again. Dreams of the two of them making love in a small inn in Ceylon. Dreams where they lay side by side on the bed, not speaking, just staring up at the ceiling together. Only to wake up to an empty bed, alone, with nothing but the pale, cold moonlight spilling in through the window.

The bathroom door opened, and Xu Fei stepped inside.

“What’s wrong?”
He closed the door behind him and locked it, then crossed the room to cup Liang Xuan’s face in his hands. Liang Xuan turned away, feeling the warmth of Xu Fei’s hand pressed against his cheek. Warm. So real.

He lowered his head to look at Xu Fei.
Xu Fei’s eyes were wide, filled with confusion as he asked, “Are you not feeling well? If you are sick, I will tell Wang Mian and we can leave early.”

Liang Xuan lifted a hand and held onto Xu Fei’s wrist. He closed his eyes and leaned into the palm of Xu Fei’s hand. After a long pause, he whispered, “Okay.”

Xu Fei took his hand and led him back to say goodbye to Fu Zichuan.
Fu Zichuan stood up, his face looking a little awkward. “Sorry,” he murmured to Liang Xuan.

They went to apologize to Wang Mian as well.
Wang Mian said, “It’s fine. Go back and get some rest.” Then he told Xu Fei, “I will get in touch with you later.” He even walked them to the elevator.

The elevator was decorated with flowers, white and red roses woven together, the sweet atmosphere almost too thick to bear.
Liang Xuan lowered his eyes and saw their hands still clasped tightly together.

A sentence slipped from his throat before he could stop it.

“Would you marry me?”

The elevator door dinged and slid open.

Xu Fei froze there, wide-eyed, staring at Liang Xuan without even blinking. Liang Xuan said nothing, simply standing still, quietly looking back at him.

The doors slowly began to close again.

“Uh,” Xu Fei said. “Alright.”

Liang Xuan smiled. “Good.”

He lifted his hand and touched Xu Fei’s face, then leaned down and kissed his slightly parted lips. When he straightened back up, he saw the faint flush creeping across Xu Fei’s cheeks.

“Let’s get married,” Liang Xuan said.

— End —