Chapter 16

Starting from the mountaintop—rather than the base—to retrieve the quickdraws left on the cliff during the previous climb was a decision Erik Bergmann had made after careful consideration. Starting from the top allowed for a quick rappel down using a safety rope, and after reaching the bottom, he could climb back up while collecting the quickdraws, saving nearly half the process. Moreover, the weight difference between Felix Lorbeer and himself didn’t meet the requirements for a belayer, so using the tree trunk at the top as an anchor was more convenient than using a weight bag or a locking carabiner.

However, when it came to actually implementing this plan, he discovered an unexpected flaw: for most of the time, his view was obstructed by the cliff, making it impossible for him to see Felix. This made him anxious. Felix wasn’t an experienced climber—he had asked about his training level beforehand and learned that Felix had only taken some climbing courses before the age of thirteen and had only recently started practicing again occasionally. He was genuinely worried that Felix might get too close to the edge, accidentally fall, or suffer some other mishap and injure himself.

Driven by this concern, his climbing speed reached unprecedented levels. It didn’t take long for him to climb back up to the overhang and retrieve the last quickdraw.

“I believe even Alexander Megos himself couldn’t have climbed faster if he were here,” Felix said.

Erik thought that wasn’t entirely impossible, as no one knew every crack and protrusion on this cliff path as well as he did. However, after some consideration, he honestly replied, “No, I think he could. Megos’s finger strength relative to his weight is much stronger than mine, and his body flexibility is better, so on the sloping section at the one-third mark, he would use…”

“Erik, that was a compliment,” Felix leaned over and quickly kissed him on the lips, effectively cutting off his explanation. “—Accept it.”

Erik fell silent. After a long while, he finally raised his hand and made a weak gesture.

“You can’t do that right after I’ve just reached the finish line with a heart rate of 150. It could kill me.”

“Then don’t argue with me,” Felix shrugged.

He picked up the safety rope from the ground. “Now it’s my turn.”

Erik was startled. “Here?”

“Why not?”

“This route is too difficult for you,” Erik said urgently. “I’m not trying to belittle you or anything… but this section is just too long, and the hardest part is at the end. You don’t have the stamina…”

“I know,” Felix blinked at him. “No one said I have to start from the bottom. I just want to try the last rope length to reach the overhang. You can lower me to that height. If I really can’t make it, your strength is enough to pull me up.”

A few dozen minutes later, Felix reappeared at the edge of the overhang, panting heavily.

“Now step onto that mark, and you’re almost there… just two more steps,” Erik stood to the side, cheering him on enthusiastically.

Felix followed his instructions. “Does this count as success now?” he asked, gasping for breath.

“Well done!” Erik reached out to him. “Now give me your hand…”

Before he could finish, Felix suddenly let go of both hands and plummeted straight down. The safety rope instantly tightened. His body swung up and down a couple of times in the air, spinning halfway around. He spread his arms and legs, looking up at the sky, as carefree as a bird.

Erik cursed under his breath.

“This is reckless!” he shouted angrily. “This is just plain foolhardy!”

“Don’t get worked up, Erik,” Felix looked up at him with a smile. “Falling is part of climbing, after all.”

Erik alternated his hands to pull the rope, lifting Felix back up. He was determined to grab Felix and give him a thorough lecture on why intentionally falling was such a bad idea: he could easily injure his joints, get blown into the cliff by a gust of wind, or cause his belayer to panic and fall… but when he finally had Felix in his hands, all those words vanished, disappearing faster than the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. He held him tightly, like a miser clutching a rediscovered treasure.

“You scared me to death,” he muttered, unable to resist kissing his hair and cheeks.

“…Hey, Erik,” Felix suddenly dodged to the side. He was breathing rapidly, turning his head away and waving his hand at him.

Erik followed his gaze to the side: on the nearby trail, three children, estimated to be between eight and twelve years old, stood in a row, their round eyes fixed on them.

“Mom, those two men are…”

The mother reacted instantly, rushing forward like a hen protecting her chicks, spreading her arms wide and herding the three children forward along the path. The youngest boy kept peeking around his mother’s arm, looking back at the two of them with curiosity.

“Ben, keep your eyes on the path!” the head of the family shouted at the child from behind.

The red-faced middle-aged man took a couple of steps toward them. Judging by his expression, it seemed he was about to explode in anger, but he said nothing and just walked away in a huff.

Erik and Felix looked at each other. After the family had gone some distance, Felix finally let out a long breath and made a face at Erik.

“Welcome to our world, Erik,” he said with a smile.

Erik didn’t find this funny at all. If we were a man and a woman, he thought, they would have surely greeted us with friendly smiles and wished us a good day.

Felix stood up and began packing the ropes and tools on the ground. “It’s almost noon, and the people climbing up from the gentle slope will soon reach the summit,” he said, stuffing the items into his backpack. “…There’ll be more and more people.”

They left the overhang and headed toward the Geiger summit along the hiker’s trail. The warm sunlight gradually filtered through the gaps in the overhead foliage, evaporating the moisture in the damp forest. In some open areas, they could see the faint white mist drifting in the valley, the winding streams below, and the lush bushes and grassy slopes. Occasionally, squirrels or mice ran past them, making rustling sounds in the fallen leaves.

At noon, they arrived at the lookout point marked on the map and sat down on the curved wooden bench to drink water.

“When I was following you earlier, I remembered a story,” Erik said.

“It’s from Greek or Roman mythology, I think. A god saw a deer in the forest, a very beautiful deer with golden antlers or something. He fell in love with it and started chasing it, but he could never catch it… He chased it for a long, long time, and when he finally caught it, it turned into a laurel tree,” he touched Felix’s hair. “Like your name.”

“That’s very touching, but,” Felix put down his water bottle and wiped his mouth. “I really hate to say this: I think you’re mistaken, Erik. You’ve mixed up the story of Apollo and Daphne with the story of Hercules.”

“Really?” Erik felt a bit embarrassed. “What’s the original story?”

“The story about chasing the deer is probably from Hercules, one of his twelve labors: the king of Mycenae ordered Hercules to capture the only golden-horned, golden-hoofed Ceryneian Hind in the world. He chased it across the continent for a whole year and finally caught it alive,” Felix said.

“The funny thing is, when he presented it to the king, he suddenly let go, and the deer immediately disappeared. Hercules said the king hadn’t held it firmly, so his mission was still considered complete,” he winked slyly. “I think he definitely did it on purpose.”

“I agree. He’s a good guy,” Erik said with a smile.

“The other story is about the sun god Apollo falling in love with the water nymph Daphne. She didn’t love him and desperately tried to escape. He chased her relentlessly. With nowhere to run, she asked the gods for help, but no one dared to directly oppose Apollo, so they turned her into a laurel tree.”

“Why didn’t she love him? Isn’t Apollo a very popular god?”

“Good question. I don’t remember… maybe she just didn’t love him,” Felix thought for a moment. “Or maybe she was scared because the suitor was too crazy. Anyway, Apollo in this story is really unlikable, a total stalker—he even made the laurel tree into his headpiece and decorations for his lyre, like a classic case of obsessive persistence.”

“In that case, I think my story is better,” Erik said.

“I think so too.”

The two of them sat on the bench at the lookout point, gazing at the mountain opposite. A silver waterfall cascaded down from a crevice at the peak, splitting into several winding streams midway. The wind here wasn’t as strong or cold as at the summit; it was gentle, coming and going, blowing through the dense foliage. All sorts of colorful, vibrant leaves lay scattered around them like a thick carpet. The midday sun shone warmly on them.

“This place is wonderful,” Felix said. “It makes you want to stay here forever.”

He stretched his arms and leaned back lazily on the bench.

“I remember when I was a kid, my parents forced me to go out and hike with them in the countryside, and I always found it tiring and miserable. But at some point, I started to love all of it—the forest, the campfire flames, the streams in the valley, the sunrise and sunset at the summit… these things are just endlessly fascinating,” he said in a reminiscent tone. “Earlier this year, not long after I left the hospital, I thought only the good weather and forests of May could heal me. With that in mind, I went to the Vosges and stayed there for three whole weeks.”

“Alone?”

“Yeah. I finished the hiking routes recommended on Komoot and even uploaded two of my own. I stayed at hiker’s huts at night.”

“I wish I’d known you back then.”

“You wouldn’t have,” he smiled slightly. “I was in a bad place then. My mental and physical state was pretty terrible, and I needed medication for both. I’m glad no one knew me back then.”

“I don’t think you should have been alone,” Erik said. His fingers gently brushed Felix’s sleeve.

“It’s better to be alone than to let others see you at your worst—don’t you think the world would be a much better place if everyone thought that way?” Felix said with a smile.

“No,” Erik said shortly, then placed his hand on Felix’s cheek.

He leaned in, breathing rapidly. Their foreheads were almost touching.

“Someone might see,” Felix whispered.

“Let them see.”

He moved in to kiss him, but Felix turned his face away, avoiding his lips.

“Erik, don’t,” he glanced toward the trail a few meters away, where people occasionally walked past in small groups. “Someone you know might pass by here.”

“So what?” Erik said urgently. “Do you think I’d care about that?”

“Maybe you don’t care at this moment,” Felix looked at him. “But you know I’m leaving tomorrow. And you’ll stay here, for a long time, maybe even a lifetime—like most people here. You’ll see them more often than you’ll see me.”

Erik was stunned. He looked at Felix: his green eyes had never seemed more like gemstones, beautiful yet devoid of any emotion—the sunlight reflected in them added no warmth. He felt the passion in his chest rapidly cool, and soon let go, retreating to his original position.

“You don’t know how you’ll feel after tomorrow, after a month, a year… what you’ll think,” he heard Felix’s calm voice beside him. “You don’t know if you’ll regret what you’re doing now.—So don’t go too far, Erik.”

…Of course I’ll regret it. Erik thought. In fact, I’ve already been regretting it: I regret impulsively deciding to climb the overhang that afternoon, regret stopping to drink the water you gave me, and regret not going straight home after we parted at the forest fork—that was my last chance to escape your influence. After that, it was too late.

They sat in silence, continuing to look at the scenery before them. The view was so beautiful, the Geiger summit and its waterfall, as if they had always been there since he could remember—maybe they’d still be there at the end of his life, Erik thought. This was his favorite lookout point. But he didn’t know if he could sit here with the same feelings after today.

Finally, Erik asked, “Are you hungry? Let’s get something to eat.” He tried to muster some energy. “Old Yannis’s Greek tavern is only about twenty or thirty minutes away.”

“If you want to,” Felix said.

“Yes. Why not? His food is really good,” Erik said, somewhat irritably. “There’ll be a lot of people there.—I won’t touch you.”

“Then let’s go,” Felix said, standing up from the bench.