WP Chapter 44

The phrase “I’ve got stories, you’ve got wine” was just something people tossed around for idle gossip. A way to laugh over the past with no real consequences. But the kinds of memories that truly cut to the bone were rarely ever shared.

Especially for someone like Jiang Yibai, who never spoke of the past once it was behind him. Aside from the few people who had been part of that history like Li Xun, no one knew a thing. Even editors who had once been close to him didn’t find out about the sudden death of his parents until much later, and even then, they never learned the whole story.

In Jiang Yibai’s own words, “Who doesn’t have a few secrets they can’t talk about?” There was no need to dwell on it. No need to act like you were the most miserable, the most unlucky, the most wronged person in the world. Plenty of people had been wronged. Plenty of people had suffered. Who couldn’t win a game of “who’s had it worse”? But what would be the point?

If crying could bring back what he had lost, if being miserable could turn back time, if dragging up the pain could somehow change anything, he would do it. He could cry a mountain into existence. He could scream until the world had no choice but to look his way.

But what was lost was already gone. What couldn’t be fixed had long since become a permanent regret. There was no medicine for hindsight, no cure for that kind of grief.

No matter how much it hurt, the sun would still rise. A new day would still begin. The people passing him by on the street wouldn’t know what had happened. And even if they knew, they weren’t obligated to care.

Life still has to go on.

And the cruelest, most bitter thing of all was that Jiang Yibai had finally come to understand that.

It was late. Jiang Yibai drifted between sobriety and intoxication, though it was hard to say whether he was still drunk or already sober. He sat cross-legged on the floor with the damp towel on his head, staring blankly out the window. His face was flushed strangely under the light. The veins in his neck were taut, as if he were quietly digesting emotions no one else could reach.

Li Xun sighed and tugged Zheng Youli up to his feet. “I’ll stay at his place tonight. You two just sleep here.”

Si Shaorong stood up. “Thank you.”

Li Xun waved him off, then gave him a look and crooked a finger, motioning for him to come speak privately.

Zheng Youli stayed where he was, poured Jiang Yibai a glass of water, then reached over and gently removed the towel from his head.

The boy had always been quiet by nature, and now he simply sat down cross-legged beside Teacher Jiang, gazing out with him into the thick darkness of the night.

Li Xun led Si Shaorong down the stairs and stepped outside through the back door, lighting a cigarette in the quiet of the alley.

The summer night breeze pulled him out of the alcohol-soaked air upstairs. He hadn’t drunk much, but the weight of all those old memories had wrapped around him just the same. Now, in the open air, he finally felt a bit clearer. “So, what are you planning to do from here on?”

Si Shaorong frowned and looked at him.

Li Xun took a drag, then pointed at him. “Let me be blunt. I don’t care if you’re some big-name god of the internet or whatever. I don’t run in your circles, I’ve got no concept of that stuff. To me, you’re just a regular man. At most, a rich one. That’s it. I don’t see those titles or auras you people walk around with. Got it?”

Si Shaorong didn’t respond.

Li Xun continued, “That kid Jiang Yibai, ever since what happened with Zheng Yu, he’s been scared of relationships. It’s not just about Zheng Yu, though. Losing his parents had the biggest impact of all. That shook him to the core.”

Si Shaorong slowly clenched his fists and gave a heavy nod.

Li Xun said, “You see him goofing around every day, thick-skinned and acting like a clown. He even set a trap to reel you in. But he never took it seriously. And I don’t mean he didn’t take you seriously. He didn’t take himself seriously. You get what I mean?”

Si Shaorong stared at the smoke curling from Li Xun’s cigarette, and suddenly felt the urge to have one himself. His voice came out hoarse. “Got another? Let me have one.”

Li Xun raised a brow. “Didn’t think you smoked.”

Si Shaorong crooked a finger.

Li Xun let out a low chuckle, pulled one from the pack, and tossed it to him. Then he lit it for him himself.

Si Shaorong took one drag and instantly started coughing hard. The smoke hit the back of his throat and burned his eyes until they watered.

He squeezed his eyes shut, pulled the cigarette away, and waved at the smoke while still hacking.

Li Xun watched him in silence, exhaling a long stream of smoke. “I’ve always hoped he’d meet someone right for him. Someone who could pull him out of that place. He’s always blamed himself for everything. And to be fair, it wasn’t all one-sided. I’m not saying he didn’t make mistakes. Let’s be real about it. I tried talking sense into him back then, but he wouldn’t listen. You think Zheng Yu had the power to twist an entire band into knots on his own? If any of them had used their heads, they would’ve noticed something was off. Zheng Yu sold insurance, sure, slick talker, good with people. But he wasn’t some cult leader who could brainwash everyone. That kid chose not to see it. Chose not to think about it. Lied to himself because it was easier.”

Li Xun shook his head. “He definitely played a part in what happened. But the car accident, none of that was his fault. That was just bad timing, plain and simple. Zheng Yu didn’t plan to get his parents killed. It was just a horrible coincidence.”

Si Shaorong inhaled deeply, then took another drag, coughing again as he gave a low, hoarse hum of agreement.

Li Xun said, “When he told me he was thinking of hitting on you, I was actually happy. I’ll be honest, man. I wasn’t thinking about whether you two would work out, or whether you’d get hurt, or if he was serious. That never crossed my mind. He finally likes someone again. That alone was a good sign. Didn’t matter who the person was, I would’ve backed it.”

A faint smile tugged at Si Shaorong’s lips. Li Xun was unreasonable, blindly protective, and didn’t make a bit of sense, but somehow, that kind of loyalty felt reassuring. Maybe that was just the kind of person Jiang Yibai had needed all along.

He waved a hand. He was still coughing, but he didn’t put out the cigarette. After exhaling a breath with difficulty, he squinted slightly and said, “I get what you’re saying. I understand.”

Li Xun snapped his fingers. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

Si Shaorong was silent for a moment, then said, “I really do like him. I won’t make you any promises. That’s all I’ll say.”

Li Xun raised a brow, then broke into a grin. He slapped Si Shaorong’s shoulder. “That’s enough for me.”

He didn’t press the topic any further. Instead, he turned toward the stairs and shouted, “Zheng Youli! Get your ass down here! What the hell are you doing stuck to your Teacher Jiang like glue? Two men alone together, you’ve got a boyfriend, remember? You ever heard of boundaries?”

There was no response from upstairs. A moment later, Zheng Youli came down with a blank face and a bag in hand.

Si Shaorong chuckled. “So only you have a boyfriend to worry about? Jiang Yibai has one too.”

Li Xun let out a laugh and gave him a light smack on the back before raising a hand to wave Zheng Youli toward the door.

The bar was staffed for the night, so as the owner, Li Xun didn’t need to hang around.

After seeing them off, Si Shaorong closed and locked the back door. He stayed there at the foot of the stairs for a while, slowly finishing his cigarette. To his surprise, by the end of it, he wasn’t even coughing anymore. He had actually started to get used to the taste.

His throat still felt tight from the earlier fits of coughing. He stood there silently, eyes blank, letting out a sigh now and then. When the cigarette finally burned down, he went to the bathroom, washed his hands and face, then headed back upstairs.

Jiang Yibai had already passed out on the floor.

Si Shaorong half-lifted, half-dragged him onto the bed, undressed him, and pulled a blanket over him.

Just as he was about to leave, Jiang Yibai suddenly grabbed his hand. It wasn’t clear if he’d just woken up or had never really been asleep to begin with. He blinked up at him, still smiling drunkenly, and let out a wine-sweet hiccup.

This version of Jiang Yibai was rare. Si Shaorong found it oddly refreshing, so he waited for him to speak.

Jiang Yibai said, “I’m drunk. I want a hug.”

Si Shaorong let out a laugh and leaned down to pull him into his arms. “Okay. A hug.”

He smelled like smoke, and his voice was a little hoarse. Jiang Yibai let out a soft “hm?” and suddenly pushed with unexpected strength. Caught off guard, Si Shaorong was flipped onto the bed, pressed into the mattress.

Li Xun’s bed turned out to be surprisingly soft. It wrapped around the body like a cocoon, warm and comfortable.

Si Shaorong looked up at his drunk lover sitting on top of him. He raised a hand to touch his face and said softly, “Should I not have asked?”

He knew it was pointless to say that now. He had already asked, but the words still slipped out.

Jiang Yibai shook his head and gave him a beautiful smile. He pulled Si Shaorong’s hand to his cheek and nuzzled into it, murmuring, “Thank you.”

Si Shaorong froze.

Jiang Yibai, drunk and disoriented, spoke in a jumble, his sentences falling apart halfway through. “Thank you… you saved me again. You’re such a good guy. Such a good guy. Why are you so stupid?”

Si Shaorong didn’t follow. “I saved you twice?”

“Mhm.” Jiang Yibai nodded happily.

Si Shaorong propped himself up slightly. “What do you mean? When did I save you?”

Jiang Yibai stared at him for a long moment. Then he leaned in, their noses brushing. “You smoked?”

Si Shaorong met his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Why? You don’t smoke.” Jiang Yibai narrowed his eyes and pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around him. After a pause, he seemed to come to a realization and muttered, “Did you feel bad? Don’t feel bad. Don’t feel bad. Boyfriend will hug you.”

Si Shaorong’s chest tightened with a feeling he couldn’t explain, something heavy and close, like a muted ache that refused to fade.

Wrapped in Jiang Yibai’s arms, surrounded by the scent of alcohol and slurred nonsense, that feeling only intensified.

He pulled Jiang Yibai down by the nape of his neck and silenced him with a kiss. Their mouths met with heat and urgency. His tongue slipped past parted lips, and they kissed as if neither of them meant to stop.

The sound of heavy breathing filled the small room. Jiang Yibai was quick to respond, heat flaring between their lips. His breath was hot, sweet with wine, and it made Si Shaorong feel drunk too.

Si Shaorong gave a muffled groan, reaching down to take off his shirt. But Jiang Yibai grabbed his wrists and shoved him deeper into the pillows, lowering his head to bite the hem of Si Shaorong’s T-shirt and tug it upward. Then, like a dog, he sank his teeth into Si Shaorong’s shoulder.

They were, after all, on someone else’s bed. Si Shaorong couldn’t fully let go. The tendons along his neck and jaw stood taut as he gritted his teeth and held in the sound.

Jiang Yibai seemed dissatisfied. His gaze had long since turned dark with lust.

Gone was the usual cheeky, careless air. When he looked down from above, his face carried an unmistakable intensity. His eyes were narrowed, his lips slightly pursed. He lifted Si Shaorong’s chin and pressed one knee between his legs, giving no room to resist.

“I’m not going to be the one on the bottom,” he muttered, still determined to assert his position. He rubbed Si Shaorong’s chin with his thumb, raised an eyebrow in mock threat, and bit down on his lower lip in a sharp, taunting nip.

Si Shaorong sucked in a breath from the sting, half exasperated, half helpless. He didn’t want to upset him, so he tried to reason gently. “We agreed on a schedule, remember?”

Jiang Yibai didn’t care about that at all. He pulled off his own clothes and braced himself over Si Shaorong. His eyes were red, tinged with alcohol and lust, fixed on him without a blink.

“Little virgin,” Jiang Yibai slurred with a lazy grin, “today your boyfriend’s gonna pop that cherry for you.”