YCHW Ch 32

As the grounded premonition blossomed, it quickly bore fruit. Yet a tender, foolish desire to reveal even a sliver of his true self to Hwi prevented that conclusion from solidifying fully.

A lie interwoven with truth would be harder to discern than a complete falsehood. Justifying it to himself, Yoonso began to speak.

“The truth is, my lady is still alive.”

Hwi showed no sign of surprise. Whether this was because he truly wasn’t shocked or because his temperament rarely betrayed his emotions, Yoonso couldn’t tell. Still, Hwi’s calm demeanor put him more at ease.

“I’m sorry for lying. There were circumstances that forced me to, but I’ve been found out like this.”

Though he smiled calmly, the bitterness tugging at the corners of his mouth was hard to erase. Fiddling with his cup, Yoonso continued.

“My lady was destined from a young age to marry into a noble family. The master held that betrothal in the highest regard, keeping her confined. Unfortunately, she wasn’t one to submit to fate.”

Yoonso lightly described the time he snuck out of the house at eight and was punished by his father upon returning. Hwi’s eyebrow twitched, perhaps finding it unjust that a child so young was struck.

“Three years passed, and my lady completely forgot about it. Then she tempted me to go out with her. Why wouldn’t I want to venture outside? With her always locked in the inner quarters, I couldn’t go out freely without drawing attention.”

It wasn’t a planned escape. There was a tree in the back garden that seemed climbable to scale the wall easily. It didn’t look too difficult, and if it was, it only stirred a boy’s competitive spirit.

They didn’t accomplish much outside. A servant who saw Yoonso and Yeondeok climbing the wall ran straight to Yoonso’s father to report it.

Reluctant to recount what followed, Yoonso downed another cup of liquor. A faint heat crept up his neck, warming his cheeks.

“Then the master must have realized. No amount of beating could break her. Can you guess what he chose to do?”

Hwi’s cold expression watched Yoonso. Whether it was Yoonso’s mood or Hwi genuinely empathizing, Yoonso chose to believe the latter.

“Yes, if you can’t break the tree, you burn its surroundings. Instead of my lady… he had the servants beat me, literally. Can you believe it? I was only fourteen then. Smaller than my peers, looking about twelve, and my entire body was covered in dark bruises…”

The memory of that day’s trauma was still vivid, and Yoonso squeezed his eyes shut before opening them. His trembling fingers reached for the cup again, but Hwi’s hand stopped him. Hwi filled Yoonso’s cup instead, and taking it as comfort, Yoonso let out a small laugh.

“Even then, my lady didn’t give up and fled before the marriage. I ran in the opposite direction. As the thread follows the needle, they think catching me will lead to her.”

This part was nearly a complete lie. Sensing danger, Yoonso had fled without a word to Yeondeok, who was anxious. Yeondeok had a grandmother he couldn’t leave behind, and if they were caught escaping together, it would mean certain death.

So Yoonso left money and a letter in secret, hoping his father wouldn’t harm Yeondeok upon reading it. What was Yeondeok doing now? Probably shuddering with betrayal. And yet…

“How could I not resent my lady? That child who was beaten so badly might die this time… All to live freely myself…”

The self-loathing he tried to ignore flared up from unextinguished embers. Though he had taken precautions to protect Yeondeok, he couldn’t fully relax. Still, he chose to flee.

And that wasn’t all. If Yeongchunhwa failed to fulfill their duty, it was a capital crime, and their entire family could be executed. Could he truly cast everything off and live freely in Araksa?

“It’s horrible…”

Yet he wanted to leave. To escape. To live his own life. It was all horrible. Yoonso hurriedly wiped away the tears streaming down and emptied his cup. The sharp liquid burned down his throat, vividly sinking into his stomach.

“One thing is certain.”

Hwi’s voice cut through the silence. Yoonso looked at him with reddened eyes, as if clinging to something.

“You’ll never hate your master.”

“…”

“Because your master must be someone with no choice.”

For a moment, Yoonso confused whether he was ‘Jang Deokyoon,’ the servant of the lady, or ‘Jang Yeondeok,’ who shared hardships with So Yoonso. Oh, I was playing Deokyoon. Blinking heavily under the rising intoxication, Yoonso realized.

Did it seem like Deokyoon didn’t hate his lady? No, he knew. Yeondeok wouldn’t hate him. That foolishly kind soul would only worry deeply for him. Yoonso let out soft chuckles, exhaling liquor-heavy breaths.

“Is that so?”

“…”

“Then, sir, help me. I don’t want to be caught.”

Candlelight flickered in Hwi’s endlessly deep, dark eyes. He gave no reply, only staring at Yoonso as if left behind once again.

Why do you look at me like that? Unable to ask, Yoonso lowered his head. The sudden intoxication overwhelmed his body.

After some time, he was lifted. Carried in Hwi’s arms to the bed, Hwi gently covered him with a soft blanket up to his chin. Hwi’s hand moved to Yoonso’s eyes, and a tear at the corner rolled down his finger.

Sir. Why did you kiss me?

The question he vowed to forget resurfaced, squeezing his heart like the burn of strong liquor. Breathing painfully, Yoonso gazed at Hwi dazedly. A sudden, lightning-like realization seeped into his skin, pushing the innocent Yoonso down an irreversible path.

Oh, the one who harbored feelings was me.

Love, once realized, grows like an uncontrollable wildfire, leaving one able only to stare in awe.

I’m a nobody, destined to leave. You have much and must gain more, unable to leave this place.

So this feeling must fade without ever taking a step in any direction.

I’m glad I didn’t ask.

With a wistful smile, Yoonso closed his eyes. A distant dream tugged at his ankles, pulling him into sleep.

𓇢𓆸

“They’ve been dealt with, so don’t worry.”

“What? Did you… kill them?”

“Should I have?”

“…”

“I fed them false information to lure them elsewhere, so they’ll be confused.”

As Hwi said, they encountered no pursuers while moving. It was astonishing that Hwi had improvised in the short time after bringing Yoonso to the guild hall, and Yoonso wondered about the heart behind risking danger to help him escape their notice.

Was it mere kindness and goodwill? Could he really do all this for that alone?

Digging for any special reason left him exhausted. He had vowed to forget that kiss, but the more he tried, the clearer that moment became, taunting him.

When his mind grew dizzy, Yoonso deliberately focused on the scenery before him. Farmers tending fields, fading rapeseed flowers, green barley swaying like waves in the breeze, and apple trees just budding. Feeling the flow of spring’s peak seemed to ease his turmoil slightly.

“What are you looking at?”

Startled by the suddenly close voice, Yoonso flinched and stepped away from Hwi. Hwi’s eyebrow twitched as he stared at him. Having tried to distance himself from Hwi for two days, it was no surprise the perceptive man noticed.

“Just, isn’t the scenery beautiful?”

Yoonso forced a smile, shrugging. He tried to seem casual, but Hwi’s unchanged expression made it hard to tell if it worked.