YCHW Ch 65

“You seem to know Hyunbi well.”

“Since I am a woman, I was often assigned to guard the rear quarters, so I had many occasions to see her.”

Since Huije, too, had ears and was a Yongrin with sensitive senses, she must have heard all the conversation that took place in Jayeongjeon Hall, but she seemed to have no interest at all in the story about the late Emperor. Or she was pretending not to. However, judging from her current attitude, the former seemed more likely.

“I see. Then the Emperor must have… relied on her a lot.”

He hesitates to say it, and then inevitably regrets it. Yoonso barely hid his somber, downcast expression and clenched his fists.

“Yes. But… the two of them are comrades-in-arms.”

Huije gave Yoonso a strange look and exaggeratedly raised and lowered her eyebrows. Not understanding what she meant, he stared at her blankly, and she suddenly let out a spirited shout and lightly swung her fist in the air.

“Comrades-in-arms, I mean.”

And then she giggled, hehe, and her expression was so bright and innocent that anyone would have felt it was enough to be in a good mood, so Yoonso ended up nodding his head.

“Everyone but Yeondeok, withdraw.”

Upon arriving at his bedchamber, Yoonso dismissed the palace maids. The hair he had tied up tightly seemed to be making his head ache even more, so when he let it down, he felt as if he could breathe a little better.

“You have worked hard.”

“Yeondeok. What do you think?”

“About… that story?”

“Yes.”

Yeondeok averted his gaze with a slightly frightened face. When Yoonso waited patiently, he finally spoke in a hushed voice.

“Actually, I have heard it outside before too.”

“What?”

“That the late Emperor… himself…”

“Why would such a rumor be going around?”

“I do not know for sure. But they said it was strange that the late Emperor’s sacred power was running rampant even though he had not personally led a campaign to a scene of carnage before he passed away.”

That was extremely flimsy evidence to draw a conclusion from. Still, could there be smoke without a fire? About the death of a late Emperor, of all things?

‘Well, I can think of one thing right now. The father was irresponsible, and the mother wanted to hold him accountable for that irresponsibility.’

Irresponsible. If he had truly taken his own life, would that not be a fitting expression?

When he also recalled the Empress Dowager’s cold attitude towards him and Hwi’s words calling it an outlet for her anger, he felt as if the empty tangram puzzle was finally complete.

As Yoonso clutched his head as if to tear his hair out, Yeondeok quickly came over and stopped him. Yoonso poked his head out from between his arms and let out a deep sigh.

If that was the truth, then Hwi had ascended the throne at the age of twelve due to his father’s suicide. Was this not too, too cruel? How could such a burden be placed on a child whose shoulders were already heavy from being enthroned at such a tender age…!

“I need to lie down for a bit.”

Yoonso let his body fall onto the bed and covered his eyes with his arm. Just thinking about Hwi’s world, which must have been noisy, cruel, and heavy, made his whole body sink. The fire-like warmth that had held him so desperately seeped into his skin once again, and his Guardian Star stirred. A long sigh flowed from between Yoonso’s lips as if it would never end.

“Your Majesty, a message came while you were resting.”

After he had closed his eyes for a moment and woken up, Court Lady Jo delivered the news.

“What is it?”

“It is a request from the State Father-in-Law to be granted an audience with Your Majesty, asking for a date to be set.”

Was it as they say, that things happen on the very day they are needed? Or would the proverb that the tiger comes when you speak of it be more fitting? Yoonso let out a weak laugh and shook his head.

“It is not proper for me to meet privately with my father, who holds a high position in the royal court. Please refuse this request, and all future requests that come in.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Even if he were to meet his father, he would only hear things not much different from the demands he had received at his family home anyway. It would be an order to seize the upper hand in his relationship with the Emperor, to receive his favor and use it.

Was it all right to just ignore him like this? He desperately hoped that his father would be more discreet in the royal court as well. Yoonso repeatedly clenched and unclenched the hem of his clothes, then thought of his older brother, Wongyeong’s face.

It would be better to meet my older brother instead. At least he would be able to keep our father in check…

Just the thought of facing Wongyeong made his head throb. Yoonso let out a sigh, then said he needed to get some air and went outside.

Leaving the palace maids who tried to follow him in a long line far behind, he strolled slowly through the garden. The night, which had already dyed its surroundings, was spread out clearly, accompanied by twinkling stars.

He could feel almost no chill from the night breeze that touched his cheeks. Summer would be here soon. He would greet one season here like this, and then send it off.

Yoonso slowly recalled the discussion he had with Hyunbi today. He did not agree with everything she had said. Her opinion that since one had received all one was due, one should also endure what must be endured was not wrong, but if approached that way alone, would not a sore fester somewhere?

But since the stability of the Yongrin, and by extension the security of the country, depended on the power of the Yeongchunhwa, and since he had ascended to the position of Empress, he would now have to serve the greater good.

Whether he wanted it or not, he had entered this palace and become the Empress. So he had to become a person worthy of that title. Because now he had the people beneath him. At the very least, he would be able to assist Hwi in his blind spots, so that terrible things like people suffering from extreme poverty due to personnel issues or children being bought and sold would not happen.

He was grateful and happy, yet pained, as if Hyunbi had pulled him out of a well. The world was too difficult and complicated a place to understand just by reading through books. He was scared and worried about whether he could do well.

Eventually, his thoughts reached the death of the late Emperor. At that, his chest felt tight, as if blocked, and became even heavier.

‘No. That is not right. It is only right to be suspicious and worried when a twelve-year-old child ascends to that position. All the more so if the fate of this country rests on that one young thing.’

If I had been by your side, I would have held the young you in my arms. So that even you could not claw at yourself.

It was just when the thought was spreading in his mind that it would have been better if he had entered the palace and met Hwi as soon as he blossomed at the age of eight. A shadow fell over his head, and when he turned around, Hwi was standing there. For him to appear when he was thinking of him. It felt as if his immature heart was melting away.

“Why are you out here.”

“…Because I could not sleep.”

“The day is too fine to simply sleep, is it not.”

The light from the lanterns, faintly illuminating the garden, reached Hwi. Yoonso faced Hwi, as if capturing his face under the moon in his eyes. Seeing him like this, it felt as if he were not the sovereign of a country, but just his lord, and his heart was in turmoil.

“If you cannot sleep, shall I show you something nice.”

“What is it?”

Hwi strode over and wrapped an arm around Yoonso’s waist. It was the moment he flinched at the sudden contact. He gripped Yoonso’s waist tightly and then kicked off the ground, leaping high.

“Ack!”

Yoonso grabbed onto Hwi and squeezed his eyes shut.

His body soared through the air like a bird, then fell, then leaped up again, then touched the ground, repeating the motion. He could not get his bearings at all with the sensation of his ears going deaf and his heart dropping.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Yoonso, who had been trembling, clutching onto Hwi’s body as if it were a lifeline, hesitantly opened his eyes at Hwi’s words and then quickly pushed him away.

“What is the meaning of this!”

“You will forgive me when you see this scenery.”

The corners of his lips, turned up in a grin, were both playful and confident. Thinking that this man was teasing him, Yoonso whipped his head around, only to find the scenery spread out beneath his feet and his eyes widened.

The quiet scenery of the imperial palace, with darkness settled upon it, came into view at a glance. The lanterns, which illuminated the paths here and there, kept their places, while the torches of the soldiers on their night patrols moved along the paths, looking just like they were performing a gentle dance.

Judging from its position in the center of the east and west, the place he was standing on was the main throne hall. Even the imperial palace, which seemed to stretch on endlessly, had a boundary, and faint lights could be seen beyond it. While the vastness of the imperial palace came home to him, a contradictory and mysterious feeling that this space could fit in his hand washed over Yoonso.

The moon hanging in the night sky was brilliant, and the moonlight intertwined between the eaves, creating a mystical atmosphere. The palace maids making their rounds through the palace looked small, like walking dolls.

“How is it, do you like it?”

Yoonso, waking from a daze as if he had entered the land of the moon, looked back at Hwi. His eyes, holding a faint smile, were looking down at him.

“Did you come up here often?”

“Sometimes.”

“What did you think about?”

As if it were a question he had never considered, Hwi turned his gaze and took in the scenery stretching beyond the eaves, then opened his mouth.

“I felt the flow of time.”

Hwi’s indifferent remark took Yoonso to the him of a certain day. The him who, even after finishing his official duties, did not, or could not, fall asleep, and came up here alone to look down at the scenery below. His burden. His world.

Yoonso reached out and took hold of Hwi’s fingertips. At that, his gaze returned and rested fixedly on Yoonso’s face, not leaving.

“You must have been lonely.”

As if this, too, was an unexpected reaction, Hwi blinked his eyes slowly, then furrowed his brow and smiled.

“I did not bring you here to make you feel lonely. That is a pity.”

Hwi’s fingers slipped in between his fingers. It had been a long time since they had held hands like this. A sense of longing washed over him like a high tide, and a cozy feeling, as if he were floating on calm water, enveloped his body.