YCHW Ch 68

After receiving a report that the noble lady who had previously refused intercourse had changed her mind after getting close to the Yongrin, and that the healing had also been very effective, he was able to set his worries aside. Yoonso estimated the distance between the Yeong위원 situated to the west and the * Inner Shrine to the east, then slowly closed his eyes.

“Your Majesty. How about offering refreshments to His Majesty the Emperor?”

“Refreshments?”

Just as he was about to finish the work at hand and rest, Yoonso fell into thought for a moment at Court Lady Jo’s suggestion.

“He must be attending to state affairs. Wouldn’t it be a disturbance?”

“It could be an occasion to offer him a rest, not a disturbance.”

It seemed she was making this recommendation because she had noticed the recent easing of relations between him and Hwi. Hwi had always been the one to visit first; he had never gone to Hwi’s quarters before, so it was quite a tempting idea.

“But I… I do not know what His Majesty likes. He probably doesn’t enjoy sweet things very much…”

“Isn’t it what matters is who you are sharing it with, not what it is?”

Court Lady Jo had a gentle smile on her face. It felt as if she were encouraging him, and Yoonso nodded with considerable determination.

“In that case, it would be nice if you could prepare some plain rice cakes.”

“Yes, I will have them prepared right away.”

While waiting for the rice cakes to be brought, a rare excitement spread through him, and Yoonso tapped his toes while sitting. He was curious to see how Hwi would react if he suddenly showed up. It would also be good to find out what kind of work he was handling while he was there.

Soon, Court Lady Jo brought some delicious-looking rice cakes. Yoonso went outside and was just about to board the palanquin when Jeongju, who had been guarding him from an unseen location, appeared.

“Your Majesty. Are you heading to the main palace?”

“I am.”

“I have received word that His Majesty the Emperor has just left for a personal campaign to Geumju.”

“To Geumju…? You mean he has gone to the Portrait of Hell?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“Then, should I not be going as well?”

Yoonso, growing anxious at the sudden situation, was about to turn back and prepare when Jeongju spoke.

“He was accompanied by the Worthy Consort.”

Jeongju’s single remark instantly settled his chaotic mind. Yoonso composed his face, which was about to go blank, and clenched his fists. He hoped to appear composed and calm, but without seeing himself in a mirror, he couldn’t know what he looked like.

“I see. When… will he return?”

“He will return to the palace by tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you for letting me know.”

Yoonso returned to his bedchamber and sat on a chair. Court Lady Jo approached cautiously and placed the bowl of rice cakes on the round table.

“Your Majesty. It has not been long since you entered the palace, so His Majesty must have taken the Worthy Consort out of consideration for you. Please do not worry.”

“I know. I suppose I need more preparation. I will eat these rice cakes myself, so just leave them.”

Court Lady Jo studied Yoonso’s complexion before withdrawing. Yoonso picked up a rice cake and put it in his mouth, but he chewed it slowly and with difficulty, as if chewing on tough dried meat jerky.

Was Hwi’s not taking him to the Portrait of Hell truly a gesture of consideration? But even if that choice had been for his sake, he could not easily accept it. Hadn’t Hwi gone through that long commotion to finally bring him into the palace because he needed a Yeongchunhwa with a suitable guardian star? But now that something had actually happened, he was taking someone else with him?

Yoonso clutched the hem of his clothes and tried hard to shake off the negative thoughts. The Worthy Consort must have gone to the Portrait of Hell most often, so wouldn’t she be more skilled at healing Hwi? The matters of the Portrait of Hell must be urgent, and there would surely be no time to look after him, who was new to everything.

He tried to gather his thoughts in such a rational and mature way, but a question that kept rearing its head wrapped around Yoonso’s body like a python squeezing its prey.

What is my use?

Hwi’s feelings, his own usefulness, the goals and purposes he should aim for—all of it was unclear. The sandcastle he had painstakingly built by repeatedly patting and patting it down seemed to crumble with a crash from a slightly deeper wave.

Yoonso swallowed the rice cake, which had become mushy from so much chewing, and collapsed onto the round table, burying his head in his arms.

“I want to stop.”

The weak mumble was so small and faint that it barely reached the ears of the one who uttered it, and the cold touch of the round table against his cheek was chillingly vivid.

𓇢𓆸

“His Majesty the Emperor has arrived.”

Just as he was about to start his breakfast, Yoonso rose from his seat at the eunuch’s announcement. Hwi, who strode in, looked no different than usual and showed no signs of fatigue.

He must have received the Worthy Consort’s healing.

The act of transmitting a guardian star was no different from a physician treating a patient, and he felt pathetic for harboring such feelings. Yoonso clenched and unclenched his fist on the hem of his robe before speaking.

“You have come.”

“I have arrived just in time.”

When Hwi gave a simple order to prepare his portion, a bowl of rice and spoons were brought and placed before him.

“Today, I shall steal a little of your meal.”

The amount prepared was large enough that it wouldn’t be insufficient even if two people ate. At the playful tone, Yoonso looked at Hwi calmly.

He wanted to ask if he had returned safely from the Portrait of Hell, if he was uninjured, but the words wouldn’t come out. He waited, wondering if Hwi might bring it up first, but he asked a different question.

“Did you not sleep last night? You look tired.”

“No, that is not it. I just woke up a little early.”

“Take a nap today. Then your afternoon will be more comfortable.”

“Yes. I will keep that in mind.”

Hwi’s hand, which had been moving the chopsticks, paused for a moment.

“That is not a command, but a concern.”

“Yes.”

It seemed Hwi was studying his complexion, and since he was a quick-witted man, Yoonso did not want to show the feelings he had been having since yesterday. But could he hide anything from a Dragon’s Scion, who could hear even his heartbeat?

“This is a flavor you like.”

Hwi offered him a meatball made of finely minced meat. When he put it in his mouth, it was indeed to his taste, and for some reason, Yoonso felt even more sorrowful.

Not wanting to make small talk, he stuffed his mouth full of food and chewed, knowing it was not proper etiquette. Hwi’s gaze occasionally landed on his puffed-out cheeks.

Hwi made conversation that did not require a reply and, as always, finished his meal in a proper and neat manner.

“Are you not going to see me out?”

While Hwi was tidying his official belt, Yoonso, who had been 괜히 fidgeting, approached Hwi at his question. He couldn’t shake off his timid demeanor at all and felt sorrowful all by himself. The two men soon walked side by side to the doorway.

“I heard you were planning to come to see me yesterday. Is that true?”

“…Yes. I was thinking of offering you some refreshments.”

“What was it?”

“Just… some rice cakes.”

“Then shall we eat them together today? How about at the Hour of the Monkey?”

“There is no need for that.”

Just as they stepped out of the bedchamber, Hwi turned to look at Yoonso. Yoonso managed to force a smile, pretending to be nonchalant, but when Hwi’s sharp gaze turned to his lips, he had no choice but to quickly let the smile fade.

“Today, you too should rest, Your Majesty.”

It felt as if he alone was left standing in place while everyone else was walking forward without hesitation. Hwi was always composed and mature, treating him as if he had forgotten the outcome that had become a deception, while he alone felt like a child clinging to something impossible, sulking, and whining.

Yoonso wished Hwi would get angry instead. Ask him why he swayed like a reed, why he changed his attitude like flipping his palm, why he acted like a child. But Hwi simply raised a hand, brushed off a strand of hair that had fallen on Yoonso’s shoulder, and smiled.

“I will bring something sweet.”

His touch fell away cleanly, but his gaze lingered, caressing the space between his eyes and lips. Hwi soon turned and walked away. Yoonso stared blankly at his receding back.

His kindness was still heartless, and he was at a complete and utter loss, not knowing what to do about it.

The watery blue sky was clear, and the white, fluffy clouds drifting leisurely by looked as soft as if someone had torn off pieces of cotton. Yeondeok, noticing Yoonso’s growing listlessness, nagged him to leave the Jiseo Palace. Thinking that moving his body might be better, Yoonso headed to the Yeong위원, taking only Yeondeok, Huije, and the royal guardsmen in charge of his protection.

Court Lady Jo did not like Yoonso moving about leaving the court attendants behind, but this time she readily agreed. It made his thoughts even more tangled, wondering if he had revealed his mood that much. He was certain that when he entered the palace, he had learned that he should not easily reveal his true feelings even to his subordinates, but it seemed he was not the type of person to do so.

“It feels good to be out, doesn’t it?”

With no watchful eyes following them, Yeondeok’s face brightened even more. Yoonso gave a faint smile and nodded.

“It would be nice if we could always go about so lightly.”

“I know, right? But there is one thing I’ve fixed since coming to the palace.”

“What is it?”

“I haven’t fallen down even once.”

“That’s right. How come?”

“Because I’m always on alert. They said that Your Majesty’s trusted servant is like Your Majesty’s face. So I cannot damage Your Majesty’s dignity, can I?”

“If my dignity can be damaged by you falling, then it is already worthless. So you, at least, can walk comfortably.”

“No. Being able to relax like this when I’m alone with you, Your Majesty, has become a small pleasure for me in its own way.”

Seeing Yeondeok, who knew how to find joy in even the most trivial things, his lips broke into a smile on their own. His optimism and positivity were aspects he always wanted to emulate.