YCHW Ch 74

“Forgive me, but I have not heard anything about that.”

“…I see. I asked a pointless question, so please do not mind it.”

Yoonso forced a smile and turned his steps toward a small pavilion. As he entered the shaded area, the air became much cooler. In the pond below the pavilion, where sweet flags grew long, carp swam, vigorously waving their tail fins.

“Do not be shaken by the gossip of the people. To them, it is merely entertainment.”

“I should, but…”

“Even if it were not a frame-up, at least the Gwi-ins would support Your Majesty.”

Yoonso paused and turned to look at Seongbin. He was unsure whether he should be grateful for her sentiment of following him even if he had cursed the emperor, or if he should be bewildered that she harbored the possibility that it was not a frame-up. Yoonso chose his words for a moment before speaking.

“Seongbin, you are not one who serves the emperor. I am grateful for your sentiment, but I wonder if it is right to do so.”

“If a Yeongchunhwa does not support a Yeongchunhwa, who can we trust and rely on?”

Seongbin lifted her eyes. The distinct brown color surrounding her pupils possessed a strength like that of a sturdy old tree. Yoonso hid his surprise at her demeanor, which was completely different from her usual self, who seemed listless and indifferent to everything, to the point of appearing sickly.

“When Your Majesty did not enter the palace even when the day of entrance arrived, and His Majesty the Emperor also left his post, rumors circulated in the Yeong-won.”

He had not expected to hear about his escape so directly now, after so much time had passed. Yoonso was so embarrassed and bewildered that he could not show any reaction.

“Does Your Majesty still carry that incident as a burden in your heart?”

“…How could I not?”

“But not a few Yeongchunhwa must have wished for Your Majesty to achieve what you desired.”

He could not quite understand what this meant either. He had assumed that since he was in the position of empress, they would not easily throw stones at him, but if they knew the truth, everyone, especially the Yeongchunhwa who had stayed in their places and fulfilled their duties, would criticize him.

And yet, Seongbin was saying that not a few people, including herself, had wished for his escape. Yoonso smoothed the frown that had formed on its own and gripped the railing of the pavilion.

“May I ask the reason why?”

Seongbin turned her body and took in the beautifully arranged scenery outside the pavilion. Her gaze grew distant, as if it had reached a place far away, not here. For a moment, it felt as if she would vanish like smoke, and Yoonso stared at Seongbin as if to hold her firmly in place.

“I had a Yongrin with whom I promised to grow old together.”

Yoonso’s mouth tightened. A Yeongchunhwa and a Yongrin cannot marry until they reach the age of thirty. Besides, was Seongbin not now a concubine with her name on the roster of the inner court?

Even if others did not hear, Seongbin’s voice would surely reach the ears of the Yongrin guarding the vicinity. As Yoonso cautiously surveyed the surroundings, Seongbin faintly shook her head.

“His Majesty the Emperor is also aware of everything.”

If that was the case, it was a relief, but… the fact that there ‘was’ a Yongrin must mean it was in the past. Does she still not forget him, is that why she always goes around feigning an indifference that resembles resignation? Yoonso scanned Seongbin with concerned eyes.

“He whispered sweet nothings to me, and I devoted my guardian star to him as if burying my bones. To have a Yeongchunhwa with a compatible guardian star permanently assigned is a very tempting thing for a Yongrin. He said that when the time came, we would become husband and wife, and I clung to that one empty promise to the point of refusing to mate with other Yongrin.”

No emotion leaked from Seongbin’s calm, continuing voice. Not joy, not longing, not anger, not even lingering attachment.

“But one day, I heard that a Yongrin had been disciplined, and it was him. It turned out he had a woman he had promised to grow old with outside the palace, and they even had a child.”

Yoonso’s hand tightened on the railing. It was not impossible, as the Yongrin were freer to move about than the Yeongchunhwa and often left the palace on missions. But why did he have to whisper such lies and use a person…

“When I confronted him and asked what had happened, he said that need and love were different. Even after trampling on my heart, he argued that he had no choice, claiming his lifeline was in my hands.”

“It must have been very… painful.”

“What is more regrettable is that it is not a unique experience that only I have gone through.”

Suddenly, or perhaps naturally, he thought of Gyeong-ae and her village people. People who were abandoned by the ones they loved, by the family they had lived with, sharing flesh and meals.

Why are those on that side left behind, and those on this side also left behind? Why did the Dragon God leave such trials in this land? His heart ached so much he could not bear it.

“That man… where is he now?”

“He is dead.”

“…”

“I had wished he would just die, and indeed, he died in the Hell Picture, unable to control his holy power. It is a pity that he became a victim of the occasional misfortune.”

Seongbin had maintained a placid attitude throughout, but he could not even begin to imagine what path she must have walked to become this way, and the tips of his fingers tingled. While Yoonso was lost in sorrow with a furrowed brow, Seongbin, on the contrary, looked at him and gave a faint smile.

“When I said I would rather take my own life than mate with another Yongrin, His Majesty the Emperor saved me. After Hyunbi, there were no Yeongchunhwa with compatible guardian stars, and everyone was worried, when he brought me in. It must have been a choice to save a person, since they were all about the same anyway, but thanks to that, I have almost let go of my duties as a Yeongchunhwa.”

It was a story from behind the scenes that he had not known. Yoonso, not knowing what to say to comfort her, just twitched his lips, then tightly gripped and released the sleeve of Seongbin’s garment. He wanted to hold her hand, but he did this instead, worried she might feel uncomfortable because of their different genders. A warm light filled the corners of Seongbin’s eyes.

“Therefore, Your Majesty. How could I not have yearned for Your Majesty, whose honored face I had not even seen?”

“I had no idea. Thank you for telling me. You do not know how much strength this gives me.”

When he had tried to abandon his duty and run away, he had been greatly frustrated, thinking he was the only irresponsible Yeongchunhwa in all of Daeyeong, and it was difficult to escape from his self-loathing. To learn, albeit belatedly, that he was not the only one for whom the cloak of a Yeongchunhwa was burdensome was both a relief and a pain. Under the great national policy, how many individuals must have had to suppress themselves?

“I earnestly hope that you will continue to be a good leader, as you are now.”

His shoulders were still heavy, and everything was still unfamiliar and clumsy, yet Seongbin called him a good leader, and it created ripples in his heart, like a large stone falling into a pond. The empathy and goodwill of Seongbin, who must have experienced the same thing before him, would become a treasure that could not be exchanged for anything.

It was when Seongbin bowed her head deeply, showing signs of taking her leave.

“Seongbin… if you had not entered the palace, what did you plan to do?”

At the sudden question, she straightened her back, looked out past the railing for a moment, and then answered.

“I wanted to work at a dye house.”

“A dye house?”

“Because seeing pretty colors makes me feel good.”

“I see. It suits you.”

Seongbin’s lips formed a gentle curve. She bowed her head deeply once more and then left. Yoonso stared at the spot where Seongbin had stood for a while, enjoying the blowing wind and lost in thought.

The relationship between the Yongrin and the Yeongchunhwa. Their families, connections, dreams, duties, responsibilities. A trajectory identical to the wheel that has been endlessly turning since the Hell Picture opened.

Even if sacrifice is inevitable, might it not be possible to find something precious within it? To do that, what must be done? What can be done? Yoonso felt a certain will stirring within him and gripped the railing firmly.

“Your Majesty.”

Jeong-ju, who had approached swiftly, stood beside Yoonso. Seeing a somewhat solemn look on his face, Yoonso asked with curiosity.

“What is it?”

“A beacon has been lit.”

“…”

“His Majesty the Emperor has departed for Geumju, and the order is to escort Your Majesty.”

Geumju. He has to go to the Hell Picture. Hwi’s command. Yoonso blinked blankly, then his expression hardened with resolve.

“Huije!”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

“Relay to Wan that I will ensure the safety of her family. If it is secured, inform me immediately.”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

He could see Yongrin approaching as if flying, carrying a palanquin. The thought that things might be serious if Hwi was taking him along made worry take precedence. Yoonso quickly boarded the palanquin and tried to calm his anxiously beating heart.

The palanquin carrying Yoonso quickly left the palace, not by the usual path, but by crossing over walls and pavilions. Knowing that looking outside through the window would make him dizzy, Yoonso closed his eyes and focused solely on controlling his guardian star.

Finally, he was setting foot in the Hell Picture, which he had only heard about. Various emotions were tangled up, and though they were his own, he could not recognize what names they bore. His fingertips felt numb, and he repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fingers.