MY 23

“The one who should be flustered is me, so why are you acting like a dog that needs to poop?”

Won Wooje furrowed his brows. He lowered his upper body and pushed his face in as if looking up from below. Han Seolwoo’s expression hardened even more firmly.

“…I.”

His red lips quivered. I could see his fists clenching tightly. He looked as if he were trembling.

“Forget it.”

And so, Won Wooje made the first move. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he grabbed Han Seolwoo’s cheeks firmly to make him look straight at him. At the sudden action, Han Seolwoo’s spine went rigid.

Looking at him, Won Wooje’s resolve became even firmer.

“Let’s date.”

The confession was resolute. At the direct words, Han Seolwoo’s eyes gradually widened.

“I said, let’s date.”

“… .”

“Ah, let’s just try seeing each other, clean and simple.”

Won Wooje, hands in his pockets, stood with a swagger and held out his right arm. Han Seolwoo, flustered by the way he spoke like a mobster Mister in his fifties despite his sophisticated and handsome face, belatedly scanned the surroundings. Even in the darkness, his flushed cheeks were visible.

“Are you crazy… ?”

Han Seolwoo whispered in a low voice. He grabbed Won Wooje’s shoulders, being careful lest someone hear. Won Wooje, staring intently at him, shrugged his shoulders.

“Why, isn’t that what you want to do? Or what, are you planning to lose your virginity to me or something? I’ve said it repeatedly, but I believe in purity before marriage, so… .”

“Be quiet, please… !”

“… So let’s just do it. Things will work out somehow.”

Because it’s no big deal.

Won Wooje muttered. Then, with a crooked smile, he lifted his chin. He locked eyes with him intently.

“Promise me instead. We’ll try being in that kind of relationship, and if it doesn’t feel right, we go back to being friends.”

“… .”

“Well, if we keep liking each other, we can get married.”

He chuckled again like a sly snake. His black pupils sparkled like stars in the pitch black.

Han Seolwoo felt like he had broken down. Standing frozen and stiff, he chewed over those words again and again. But what he heard was not a hallucination.

Does he even know what on earth he is saying? It’s not normal. Even though he knew it wasn’t normal, he couldn’t control his accelerating breath.

“You… .”

“Ah, so don’t keep your distance from me. Don’t be awkward either, fuck, just act the way you always do. Do you know how frustrated I was all day long? It’s not like I threw those words out without being prepared for that, no, right. Let’s just leave it at that. Anyway… Let’s just try it for now, let’s just do it and then think.”

“… Are you serious?”

“What, should I bet my mom’s life?”

Just as Won Wooje, with his eyebrows arched, was about to continue, Han Seolwoo forcibly blocked his mouth.

“I told you not to say things like that.”

“Why. Because she’s going to be your mother-in-law?”

Won Wooje snickered. Han Seolwoo, quickly pulling his hand away, said “You crazy bastard,” with a scowl.

Han Seolwoo turned his head and swept his hair up. Hmmm, Won Wooje took a breath, and his gaze deepened.

“Honey.”

At the familiar yet strange title, Han Seolwoo slowly turned his head and looked at Won Wooje.

“Today is day one. Okay?”

He was smiling. His sharp features, cast in the sunset-colored light, were exceptionally distinct.

Han Seolwoo swallowed his dry spit. Then he slowly nodded. Won Wooje beckoned again with the arm he had extended for a handshake. Han Seolwoo slowly clasped his hand. A ticklish heat blossomed from the childish handplay.

“Ah. Should I have bought flowers? Should I pick one of those for you?”

“… I don’t need it.”

Won Wooje, gesturing with his chin toward the flower bed, chuckled. Han Seolwoo wrinkled the tip of his nose with an exasperated face. The pouring starlight shone brightly down on them. At eighteen, the late-blooming spring breeze fluttered warmly.

୨ৎ

‘Let’s date.’

‘I said, let’s date.’

Han Seolwoo pulled the blanket over his head with a sullen expression. Thoughts of Won Wooje were constantly rummaging through his mind.

… Lunatic, a real total lunatic.

His heart was heavy. There was no way that guy could have liked him, so he felt uncomfortable because the situation had unfolded so haphazardly.

In the first place, can a relationship even proceed as quickly as roasting beans over a lightning bolt? And with a childhood friend of all people. This was a difficult situation even if it were between a normal man and woman.

Throughout his life, Han Seolwoo had never once doubted his sexual orientation. He hadn’t dated simply because he wasn’t interested in the opposite sex; he never doubted for a second that there was anything different about him compared to ordinary people.

Therefore, he wasn’t certain about this emotion that had suddenly arrived. He was even confused as to whether he truly liked the other person. However, even after chewing it over dozens, hundreds of times, the change in his emotions and his feelings toward him were too much to be dismissed as just friendship. Unless he was a complete idiot, there was no way he wouldn’t know.

The moment he looked back at the clear reality, Han Seolwoo was frustrated.

To think the first person he ever thought of as special was a man. And that it was Won Wooje!

He didn’t even know when he started harboring such special feelings for him. That was because there wasn’t a single moment where Won Wooje wasn’t a special existence to Han Seolwoo. He was always, constantly, a precious person to him.

Falling asleep was out of the question. Han Seolwoo, squirming under the covers, groped around and picked up his phone. When he turned on the screen, the dark inside of the blanket lit up brightly.

Dumb-je: don’t be late tomorrow, come out

Han Seolwoo carefully scanned Won Wooje’s message that appeared as a preview notification. It seemed he, too, was unable to fall asleep. Of course, it probably wasn’t for the same reason as him… .

‘Well, if we keep liking each other, we can get married.’

Won Wooje’s low laughter seemed to ring in his ears. One side of his chest, which had suddenly started to feel ticklish, throbbed more and more.

Letting out a long sigh, Han Seolwoo turned off the screen just like that. He couldn’t fathom what on earth the guy was thinking, or if he thought this situation was some kind of fun game.

Enough. He had to cut off the endless thoughts of Won Wooje. Han Seolwoo, who kept tossing and turning, forced his eyes shut and tried to sleep. For the sake of a day where he didn’t know what else might happen, he had to sleep now.

In the end, Han Seolwoo stayed up almost the entire night. It was when he set out for school in a scramble after falling into a short nap in the late dawn and oversleeping.

“Hey, get on.”

Han Seolwoo, exiting the front gate of River Castle, jerked his head up. Won Wooje, riding an electric scooter, was beckoning to him with a tilt of his chin. Having uselessly even obtained a motorized bicycle license, he liked riding all sorts of things. Of course, he had strictly quit dangerous things like motorcycles due to his nagging.

Han Seolwoo scanned him slowly with a suspicious gaze.

… It’s only a 10-minute walk, why on earth ride that?

“That’s for one person.”

Han Seolwoo replied flatly. Then Won Wooje waved his hand as if it were fine.

“I know, you punk. Just get on quickly.”

“Originally, only one person is allowed to ride it.”

“Ah— I know. Just get on.”

Won Wooje, gripping the handlebars, narrowed his brows while drawing out the end of his words irritably. Whether it was day one or not, his behavior was no different from usual. He was appalled by the lack of change in someone who was the one to suggest dating first. As expected, Won Wooje seemed to have no thoughts or feelings.

I thought as much. It’s always just me who is on edge. He felt aggrieved by the time he spent agonizing and groaning all night without sleeping.

Han Seolwoo, grumbling inwardly, hesitantly placed his feet on the scooter.

“Hold on tight.”

“… .”

“Do you want to die? Grab my waist tight.”

Won Wooje, who was about to start, turned his head irritably. Suddenly, his face was right there. Han Seolwoo, who instinctively pulled his chin back, widened his eyes in surprise. Won Wooje, having finished what he had to say, looked forward again as if it were no big deal.

Han Seolwoo let out a faint sigh. With a feeling of resignation, he wrapped his arms around his waist. The well-dried school uniform smelled fragrantly of fabric softener.

With a mechanical sound, the scooter started. The breeze, which had gradually grown warm, disheveled their hair. Suddenly, with a jolt, the scooter wobbled as it hit a bump. Han Seolwoo, startled, gripped him with strength. Won Wooje’s thin school uniform shirt bunched under his palms. At the same time, he could feel his flat abdominal muscles.

Won Wooje’s waist flinched. The skin touching through the thin cotton became firm.

“… I didn’t touch you on purpose.”

Han Seolwoo whispered awkwardly. It was because he was afraid he might get cursed at for being a pervert or something. But contrary to expectations, Won Wooje just drove silently without answering. Unlike him, he seemed not to pay much attention to such things.

Han Seolwoo stared at the passing scenery while quietly holding him. At first, he was reluctant to ride, but once they rode together, it was quite nice. Except for the fact that his blood kept pumping fast and his breathing was getting ragged. The cool breeze brushing against his cheeks seemed to calm his complicated heart a bit.

“Ah, fuck.”

“Huh?”

“Breathe somewhere else. It’s so damn ticklish.”

Won Wooje, tilting his head to the right, rubbed his left ear vigorously with his palm. His handsome ear was dyed bright red. It was already a situation where the tip of his chin kept bumping into him.

“… That’s why, I told you let’s just walk.”

“This guy keeps talking back to what his husband says.”

“Whatever, you crazy bastard… .”