DTTM 64

Chapter 64: I Cannot Stay

I looked up and the spotlights on the ceiling began to shake again. My head was buzzing, as if I had been stuffed into a fully loaded “hydraulic shock absorber”.

This device, located at the bottom of the vehicle, was currently performing its mission with great fervor: absorbing all the impacts from the road surface.

“Young Master…Young Master…”

My vision was blurred; I couldn’t tell if it was sweat or tears. At first, I just kept calling him “Young Master,” but later I simply called him by his full name, “Zong Yanlei.” All the calculations and schemes in my mind vanished, leaving only these three simple characters.

“I never understood why everyone wanted to get you into bed…” Zong Yanlei said hoarsely, wiping the stains on his hands onto my abdomen. “So that’s how it is.”

Who is everyone?

And who is you?

Every muscle in my body tensed up, like a machine forced to lock itself in place. But the more tense I was, the easier it was to lose control of the rhythm; the more I tried to maintain stability, the more that stability seemed to soften in the heat, becoming unattainable.

No……

I’m loosing my mind.

My hand groped blindly on the sheets, and my fingertips touched something cold and smooth. I glanced over and confirmed that it was the black fountain pen, which I gripped tightly in my palm.

Under extreme physiological stress or traumatic intrusion, the human body activates a complex set of chemical defense mechanisms. This is not only to cope with pain, but also to forcibly maintain individual consciousness when survival is threatened.

It usually goes through four stages.

Stage 2: Rapid vasoconstriction, fear takes precedence, and the survival instinct dominates;

Stage 2: Body temperature rises, profuse sweating occurs, and rationality is gradually stripped away;

Stage 3: The vagus nerve’s inhibition is breached by adrenaline, triggering massive endorphin release that induces distorted pleasure as the brain descends into chaos and loss of control;

Stage 4: Under the influence of dopamine, the brain further loses its ability to distinguish between “extreme pain” and “extreme stimulation,” and the reward mechanism completely malfunctions. While feeling broken, one begins to enjoy this feeling.

I was on the road from the “third stage” to the “fourth stage”.

I accepted everything, I liked everything, I enjoyed everything…

I’ve lost my mind.

“Say you belong only to me…” Zong Yanlei seemed to want to tear me in two, or swallow me whole, making the boundary between “me” and “him” completely invalid at this moment.

A sharp pain in my palm briefly snatched back the last remnants of my fading sanity.

And what about you?

I pressed down on the back of his neck and put my forehead to his.

Who do you belong to?

“I only…I only belong to you.”

In the end, despite the pain, the words remained unspoken, just like many others, forever sinking into the depths of my heart.

I couldn’t lose my mind here… I couldn’t break down here… otherwise… otherwise…

Otherwise what? I couldn’t remember anymore.

I pressed down with my palm again, the pen tip digging deep into my flesh, stirring my nerves.

Oh, I remember now.

Gazing into those heterochromatic eyes, so close to mine and more dazzling than jewels, I closed my own, letting the tears stream down my face.

Otherwise, I would be completely captivated, lost, and unable to leave.

I couldn’t stay.

I must not stay.

“What are you doing? Let go!”

A command pulled me back to reality, and all sensation vanished abruptly.

My wrist was grabbed, the pen slipped from my hand, and Zong Yanlei’s voice, after a moment of surprise, quickly turned cold: “You dislike staying here so much? You actually hurt yourself?”

The pressure on my wrist gradually increased. I opened my eyes and saw that he had already stepped back, his gaze fixed on my injured palm.

“No.” I felt like a vine had wrapped itself around my entire body.

“If I didn’t like it… I wouldn’t have used it to stab my palm.” I gasped, sliding my bleeding hand between his fingers, and raised my other hand to gently cup his cheek. “I just like it so much… I like it so much, it’s like I’m going crazy. Can’t you feel it?”

He lowered his eyes and stared at me, scrutinizing, discerning, and judging. In just a few seconds, the coldness in his eyes melted away completely.

But he still didn’t move.

“Young Master?”

He frowned even more deeply, clicked his tongue, and seemed to have made a decision: “Fine, I’ll let you off this time.” With that, he tightened his grip on my hand and pinned me down onto the bed.

Before my sluggish brain could even comprehend his meaning, he had already leaned down and pressed down on me. The long and forceful kiss took away half of my already scarce oxygen.

If the waves were only three or four meters high, they should now be described as tsunami-like waves.

The intense feeling of impending death dragged me into the waves, and in an instant, it felt as if every cell in my mouth, nose, eyes, ears, mind, and body was destroyed.

I could almost hear myself screaming as if my vocal cords were about to burst, but my lips were being tightly sealed by Zong Yanlei.

My fingertips were clenched, and the pain could no longer rouse my fading consciousness. My last impression was of a tight, inseparable embrace, and a scalding heat that seemed to burn away my very soul.

After that, my consciousness began to fade in and out.

I woke up a moment later to find myself lying crookedly in the bathtub, not against the cold tub wall, but surrounded by a solid human body; then I woke up again to find myself back in bed, my wrist being gently held, a cool breeze caressing my wound, and Zong Yanlei bending down to bandage my left hand; then I closed my eyes and drifted completely into a dream…

I dreamt of Wei Nuan. Maybe because it was related to the land where she was buried; it had been five years, and this was the first time I had dreamed of her.

To be precise, it wasn’t a dream about her. It was a dream about the day Wei Jiarui was born.

In Penglai, medical services for the Wo people were virtually non-existent. That chasm of class separated not only wealth, but also the very chance of survival.

On the eve of Wei Nuan’s delivery, Wei Bao specially found an experienced midwife for her to give birth at home.

Her water broke, and a long, drawn-out labor dragged on through the night. Then, a loud cry pierced the silence—Wei Jiarui was born. Wei Bao and I, who had been waiting outside the door, finally felt a surge of joy. Everything seemed to be going well, until the midwife, her hands covered in blood, stumbled out, crying out in terror, “The blood…the bleeding won’t stop! Quick! We have to get her to the hospital!”

The wrinkled infant was shoved into Wei Bao’s arms, and the midwife, sensing something was wrong, made a hasty escape. I rushed into the house, rolled Wei Nuan up along with the soaking wet bedding, and stuffed her into the truck.

“What are you standing there for! Let’s go!”

I had already gotten into the driver’s seat, but when I looked at Wei Bao, he was still frozen beside the car, holding the baby, his face pale and looking completely lost. I had no choice but to get out of the car again and roughly shove him into the passenger seat.

We rushed to the nearest hospital, but no one paid any attention to us.

The corridor was white and cold, with few medical staff. Wei Bao ran around desperately, only to be met with a perfunctory “The doctors are still busy, please wait a moment.”

The thick winter blankets were gradually soaked with Wei Nuan’s warm blood, the crimson spreading out and staining the porcelain-white floor of the hospital lobby. I held her, watching helplessly as that face, which had been so vibrant and bright just hours before, full of beautiful dreams for the future, rapidly turned ashen and dull from severe blood loss.

“What should I do? What should I do?!”

Like a wild beast trapped in a dead end, Wei Bao paced around the hall, his cries hoarse and piercing: “Someone save my sister! Someone save her!! She’s only nineteen!!”

Penglai people would occasionally stop, their eyes showing no emotion other than disgust and disdain.

Humans don’t care about the life or death of the ants under their feet, just as the people of Penglai would never pity the loss of an outcast.

Wei Nuan’s breathing was barely audible, and the stench of blood permeated the entire space. Wei Bao finally realized that there was no savior in this magnificent temple. Holding the bright red swaddled baby, his knees buckled, and he fell to his knees on the cold marble tiles.

“Who can save her… I’ll give my life for it!! I’ll die!! Let me die in her place…” He wailed, trying to exchange even the slightest glimmer of a miracle for the most humble plea.

Unfortunately, the god of Penglai only love the suffering of mortals.

Amidst the baby’s faint cries, Wei Nuan died before dawn, in my arms, without even catching a glimpse of her child’s face.

Until we left carrying her already cold body, those so-called “busy” doctors never appeared at the end of the corridor for even a second.

I woke up with a start from my dream, and when I opened my eyes, it was already noon the next day.

Sunlight streamed through the curtains, and even the slightest movement sent waves of soreness through my body. All the muscles that had been stretched last night were now protesting.

My brain, which had been ravaged by various chemicals all night, took a long time to recover. I frowned and tried to move my body away from the burning embrace behind me.

However, the next second, I froze, and my brain crashed again.

Why…

I frowned in confusion, reaching my hand behind me to confirm that it wasn’t some absurd illusion.

No? Why would you do that?

Who sleeps like this?

I removed Zong Yan’s hand from my waist. I closed my eyes, and, enduring the strange sensation, slowly separated our two bodies.

Zong Yanlei slept soundly throughout the night, his thick eyelashes casting a small shadow beneath his eyes, his silver bangs falling smoothly onto his forehead, his breathing even. The days of travel, extreme emotional fluctuations, and a whole night of unrestrained exertion had probably drained him of all his energy. He only subconsciously tightened his fingers for a moment as I left, then quickly relaxed them, as if to confirm I was still there, before falling back into an even deeper sleep.

I got out of bed, supporting my lower back. The moment my feet touched the carpet, my legs felt so weak I could barely stand. I had to lean against the edge of the bed to catch my breath before slowly making my way to the bathroom.

The moment I opened the door, I froze again.

The huge mirror on the wall accurately reflected the “mess” on my body at that moment.

The scratches on my neck had been bandaged up; anyone who didn’t know better would think I had suffered some life-threatening injury. I moved my gaze downwards, the hickeys and bite marks covering my entire body were a shocking sight.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time, and couldn’t help but let out a soft breath.

Thank goodness it was winter, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to go out and see anyone.

After taking a shower, I went to the living room wrapped in a bathrobe and found two sets of new clothes arranged on the sofa. In addition, my cell phone and terminal had also been returned.

I chose an outfit that fit me and changed into it. The fabric was soft and clean, with a subtle scent of detergent. Then, I dialed the internal line and ordered two in-room lunches.

While waiting for my food, I leaned back on the sofa and scrolled through my phone for a while. As I expected, the online sentiment was exactly as described: my fans were going crazy for me. My name was undergoing an almost religious “deification.”

When the meal was delivered to the room, it was accompanied by a message from Yu Xuan.

Zong Yanlei slept until I finished lunch, probably because he was really exhausted. I hesitated for a moment, but still didn’t wake him. I just left him a note on the table, briefly explaining where I was going, so he wouldn’t be alarmed upon waking to find me gone.

The terrace was bathed in sunlight during the day, and the biting chill of the previous night was gone. However, without the noise and bustle of the banquet hall, the space felt unusually empty and somewhat desolate.

Yu Xuan leaned against the semi-transparent glass railing, his tall frame completely covered by a jet-black coat. His eyes were slightly closed as he stood quietly against the wind, his pale skin almost transparent in the sunlight.

“Yesterday, Chu Shengcheng killed Bondor.” I walked up to him, skipping the details of Chu Shengcheng’s madness, and got straight to the point.

Yu Xuan slowly opened his eyes, his expression not showing much change. He pulled his hand out from his wide sleeve, opened his palm, and presented something to me.

It was a pocket watch, Bondor’s pocket watch, with his blood still splattered on it.

I had no idea how long Yu Xuan had been holding the watch. On the cover, the uneven edges of the raw river pine stone, a symbol of power, had left deep, dark red grooves in his pale palm.

“It seems he told you.” And he even gave the spoils.

Perhaps due to lack of rest, Yu Xuan’s face was even paler than yesterday, and coupled with his fiery red eyes, he appeared somewhat sickly under the gray sky of Wo Province.

His gaze, sharp and piercing, swept across my collar before he suddenly spoke: “Jiang Man, has your will changed?”

I was taken aback, then calmly shook my head: “No.”

“So, is it true that nothing external can shake your heart?”

This time, I didn’t answer immediately.

My gaze passed over him, settling on the distant, mist-shrouded outline of the mines. It was a reality far more perilous than the GTC arena, having devoured countless Wo people’s lives, and continuing to do so. Bondor had died, and a new governor would soon take office. As long as the shadow of Penglai continued to loom over this land, the lives of the Wo people would forever remain nothing more than cheap fuel to sustain the cloud-borne glory.

“Yes.” After a moment, I replied, my tone steady, “I will not let anything external shake my resolve.”

I clenched my left hand, my fingertips digging into the wound in my palm that had been properly bandaged.

“Remember what you said today.” Yu Xuan took the pocket watch and put it back in his pocket. “I will not allow anyone to stand in my way of restoring my kingdom.”

***

Author’s Note

Some descriptions of “hydraulic shock absorbers” have been removed.