LS 91

The flurry of hands packing the bag was frantic. Normally, Moonhyuk would stack his workbooks neatly in size order, but today they were all jumbled together. His mechanical pencil and pen, which had been resting on top of the books, rolled into the bag without making it into the pencil case. His heart raced.

If he said he wasn’t flustered by Dohee’s message, that he was already waiting in front of the main gate, it would be a lie.

– Hurry up, hyung. I missed you.

That quiet voice, tinged with laughter, still echoed in his ears. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had told him they missed him. He hadn’t had anyone close enough to say something like that. He didn’t know why Dohee had come all the way out here just to invite him to lunch, but in the end, that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Dohee was waiting for him right now.

With his bag slung hastily over one shoulder, Moonhyuk rushed out of the central library, practically running. His long legs made wide strides across the pavement.

Lately, every day had felt like a dream. Which was to say, it all felt strangely unreal. There was so much to do, so much studying to be done, but his heart kept floating off somewhere else. Ever since he’d met Dohee – since he found out Dohee was GoingSupporter, since they started prepping for the Demon Hunter clear together, it all felt unbelievable. Even though it was clearly real, right in front of him, the emotions were too strange to put into words.

In truth, Moonhyuk hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days. When he stayed over in the dress room at Dohee’s place, he just couldn’t fall asleep easily. He was afraid that if he closed his eyes, everything would vanish like a mirage. That fear kept him awake. Every day was exciting, joyful, and new, but that only made his anxiety grow larger. He didn’t want Dohee to worry, so every morning, he’d quietly slip out and leave a message saying he’d just woken up early. He knew very well how much Dohee cared about him. And that made him all the more unwilling to become a burden.

In the mornings, he’d sit or stand quietly in Dohee’s living room, trying to soak in the feeling of the space – confirming to himself that this was real – before gently opening the door and heading out to catch the bus to the library.

As he descended the steps of the library, he spotted Dohee’s car parked near the front gate’s empty lot, empty thanks to the semester break. He’d only ridden in it twice, but he recognized it right away. Moonhyuk wasn’t particularly observant, but for some reason, he just knew. Dohee was standing outside the car, looking at his phone. His fingers moved quickly, and since Moonhyuk’s own phone hadn’t buzzed, he figured Dohee was chatting with someone else.

Normally, Moonhyuk kept all his phone notifications off. But recently, he’d enabled both pop-ups and vibrations for GameTalk, just for messages from Dohee. He wanted to be able to reply right away, like Dohee always did.

Dohee looked effortlessly cool again today. He wore a bold green short coat that Moonhyuk would never dare try, dark navy jeans, and a soft-looking black scarf. Every time, Dohee showed up looking like a model out of a fashion magazine. Even when Moonhyuk bundled himself in a long padded coat and wrapped his face in a scarf, he still felt cold, whereas Dohee dressed like someone immune to winter. Moonhyuk knew that wasn’t literally true, of course.

His steps quickened, almost breaking into a run. As his shoes tapped loudly against the stone steps, Dohee looked up. Their eyes met, and Dohee smiled. It was that smile, every time Moonhyuk saw it, he couldn’t help but think: pretty. Maybe it was an odd word to use for a man, but no other word fit. Moonhyuk smiled back without realizing it. His vision narrowed, his eyes folding shut from how widely he was grinning as he ran toward Dohee.

“D-Did you wait long!?”

The cold made him stutter without thinking. Whenever he stood in front of Dohee, his words never came out right. He told himself it was just nerves, but sometimes he hated how clumsy he became. He didn’t want to seem like an idiot in front of Dohee. But Dohee never seemed to care whether he stammered, trailed off, or struggled to reply.

Since entering university, Moonhyuk had realized just how bad he was at communicating. People would walk away or snap at him out of frustration. That’s why Dohee’s patience made him both grateful and guilty.

“Not really. You came out super fast, huh?”

“You told me to hurry…”

“You did great. So, I was thinking. How about bulgogi for lunch?”

Dohee opened the car door as he suggested the menu. Moonhyuk scrambled to open the passenger door and climbed in. The seat was warm. Dohee had left the engine running with the heater on, even though he’d been standing outside. Every time Moonhyuk noticed these little gestures, his heart skipped.

And what made it worse, Dohee didn’t even seem to realize he was being thoughtful. That kind of unconscious kindness, that seemingly rough but careful affection… Moonhyuk loved it. When he’d once told Dohee he was kind, he hadn’t been joking. Though Dohee clearly didn’t think of himself that way.

“Sounds great!”

Moonhyuk pulled off his scarf and answered brightly. Anything he ate with Dohee tasted good. Even the ramen Dohee made at dawn had been oddly delicious, even though it was just a basic recipe.

To Moonhyuk, Dohee barely ate anything, like a bird picking at its food. He wondered how his body even kept running on so little. That’s why he never objected to whatever menu Dohee suggested. He figured it might encourage him to eat more. Hoping Dohee would eat well today, Moonhyuk turned to look at him as he gently turned the steering wheel.

He inhaled the warm air. And again, his heart fluttered.

💎

They drove a bit away from campus for lunch. When Moonhyuk heard “bulgogi,” he’d imagined something simple, maybe a set meal or a bubbling hotpot. But as soon as he saw the fancy restaurant in a renovated hanok, he froze. Okay, not just a little. He was actually very caught off guard. Last time, Dohee had treated him to an expensive meal too, so he should’ve expected this wasn’t your average bulgogi.

It was strange how two people could picture such different things from the same word.

His guilt about the high price lasted only a moment. As he tasted each side dish, Moonhyuk quickly forgot about his light wallet. That’s how good the food was. Once again, Dohee paid. Before he even had time to pull out his card, it was already done. He didn’t even realize it until they were back in the car and Dohee casually mentioned he’d stopped by the register on his way back from the restroom.

Moonhyuk knew Dohee wasn’t doing it to show off, and yet, it still made him feel a weird sense of debt. His pride took a hit for no good reason.

He had no idea how much money Dohee had. But if the roles were reversed, if he were the one with more, he’d buy Dohee nice meals too. He’d set up a gaming rig just for him. Stock cereal in the kitchen for Dohee’s mornings. Surely, Dohee felt the same way.

Still – if he had to put it plainly, very plainly – Moonhyuk wanted to impress Dohee.

He didn’t know why. But that feeling alone, he understood completely. Even if he didn’t have a thing to his name, he still wanted to be someone who looked good in Baek Dohee’s eyes.

Lost in thought, before he knew it, they were back in front of Dohee’s place. He knew he should go back to the library. But like he was under a spell, he got out of the car without a word. He didn’t even say he’d be heading back. With his heavy bag full of study books clutched to his chest, he stepped through the now-familiar front door.

“Did the food suit your taste?”

Dohee asked as he unwrapped his scarf. Moonhyuk nodded, standing awkwardly in the living room.

“Brought everything you need to study?”

“Uh… pretty much?”

“Anything you need to borrow from the library?”

“Ah, no. Nothing. Just… it’s quiet there.”

Then Dohee pointed between the sofa and the table they’d once had drinks at.

“Whichever’s more comfortable, leave your stuff there.”

Moonhyuk obediently set his bag down beside the couch. Then turned toward Dohee, who was standing there with arms crossed.

“Why’d we come back to your place…?”

Everything had happened so fast. One moment he was at the library, the next Dohee had picked him up for lunch, they’d gone to a nice Korean restaurant, and now, he was standing in Dohee’s home, unpacking.

Nothing had been planned.

To his question, Dohee shrugged and said,

“The game room’s soundproofed. So if I close the door and play in there, you won’t hear a thing.”

“Uh…?”

“You can study on the sofa, or at the table where we had beer. Or the island counter, if you prefer that.”

Blinking, Moonhyuk tried to piece it together. So… he was being told to study here.

“You’re saying… I should study at your place?”

“Exactly.”

“Uh… just like that?”

At his hesitance, Dohee fell silent in thought. Moonhyuk waited quietly, standing across from him, until Dohee finally met his eyes and spoke again.

“Hyung, I’ve been thinking.”

“…About what?”

“This whole thing is just… really inefficient.”