Chapter 13 – I Like It Now

It was three in the morning when Qin Zhan finally returned home from the bar. As he passed through the alley, his usual shortcut, he noticed a child’s birthday candle, burned to its stub and discarded on top of an air conditioner unit—an incongruous sight in this setting.

Near the warehouse, an elderly man was rummaging through trash bins, scavenging for recyclables. Pinching his nose against the stench, he pulled out a black plastic bag. But when he tried to pull out the contents, he suddenly recoiled in terror, stumbling backward with a hoarse cry. Qin Zhan stepped forward to steady him, preventing him from falling to the ground.

The plastic bag lying on the ground contained the rotting, maggot-infested torso of a cat. Qin Zhan bent down, his expression blank, and tossed the bag back into the trash bin.

Clearly shaken by the gruesome discovery, the old man tried to speak. But glancing at Qin Zhan’s deathly calm expression, he quickly limped away with his tattered burlap sack, as if fleeing a ghost.

The alley was eerily silent. Qin Zhan scanned the surroundings before finally unlocking the warehouse door.

The weather had been rapidly cooling lately. Since autumn began, C City had rarely seen the sun, and colds were spreading sporadically throughout the neighborhood.

Qin Zhan shuttled almost constantly between school and his part-time job, occasionally visiting the hospital. Some time ago, the hospital had informed him that his grandmother was nearing the end of her life. They presented two options: an emergency kidney transplant, with a slim chance of survival, or palliative care, as routine dialysis offered little benefit in prolonging her life.

After a long silence, he instructed the hospital to continue treatment.

Their relationship had never been close. When he was a child, his mentally ill father would abuse him. At first, his grandmother would try to intervene, but the result was that she too would be beaten. Eventually, out of fear, she retreated to her room and became a cold, detached observer. After his father’s death, she raised him alone, providing only the bare minimum of food and exchanging hardly any words with him.

Most days, she sat on a wooden bench outside their mud-brick house, staring blankly at the neighbor’s dog, while he sat at the table doing his homework. This monotonous routine had defined his entire youth, shrouding his adolescence in a dull, suffocating fog.

As for why he insisted on continuing her treatment, he wasn’t entirely sure. Perhaps he feared that her death would leave his life even emptier, erasing the last shred of direction and purpose he had.

……

After class, Qin Zhan prepared to head to his newly found part-time job. The shortest route from the classroom to the subway station required him to walk through the gymnasium corridor. At noon, during lunchtime, the gymnasium was nearly deserted, with only an occasional passerby.

In the locker room, Zhou Liao stripped off his basketball jersey and tossed it aside. When he saw the incoming call on his phone, he frowned impatiently.

“Who’s been calling you nonstop?” Chen Xian asked, twisting open his water bottle and taking a sip.

“Who else could it be?” Zhou Liao retorted.

“Bai Ling?”

Zhou Liao didn’t answer, but Chen Xian looked at him with amusement. “Asking if you want to grab a bite together?”

“Yeah.”

When Zhou Liao answered, his tone was far from pleasant. “Hello? I was in class and didn’t hear it. What’s up?”

“Never mind. You go ahead and eat with your friends. Chen Xian and I have plans later.”

“I won’t be free tonight either. Don’t worry about me, just have fun.”

“Okay, bye.”

He hung up and locked his phone. Chen Xian, leaning against the lockers, folded his clothes. “It’s been barely a week since your birthday, and you’re already bored?”

“I never liked her in the first place. What does boredom have to do with it?”

“Then you’re just annoyed.”

“I only got close to her to see that dead guy get pissed off. Lately, there’s been nothing amusing, so naturally, I’ve lost interest.”

“How far have you two gone?” Chen Xian asked, his gaze fixed on Zhou Liao. “I’m just curious. This is longer than any of your usual flings with pretty girls.”

“What do you think? I haven’t even kissed her.”

“But wasn’t Ling Yang chasing after you pretty hard? Have you slept with her?”

“Not yet. She’s good at playing coy and sizing up the situation. You can tell what she wants, but she doesn’t want to make it too easy for me and lose my interest. The other day, when she saw me with Bai Ling on the street, she even pretended not to recognize me.” Zhou Liao pressed his hand against the back of his neck, rotating his head. “But this ambiguous stage is pretty fun for now.”

“Don’t get carried away. Bai Ling isn’t like your past girlfriends.”

“I know. I’ll break up with her gradually when the time comes.”

“I’m just worried she’ll make a scene.”

“She won’t. She’s sensible and obedient. Unlike those other girls who fawned over me for money, she has her own life and painting career. She’s pretty independent overall. If she were clingy and annoying like those others, I wouldn’t even…”

Zhou Liao suddenly froze in place. Chen Xian, who had been packing his bag while walking and hadn’t been paying attention, nearly crashed into Zhou Liao’s back.

“Why aren’t you leaving?” Chen Xian asked, looking up. In the dimly lit corridor stood a tall, dark figure. When he recognized the face, he glanced silently at Zhou Liao.

“How long have you been eavesdropping?”

“Since you started the phone call,” Qin Zhan replied flatly.

Zhou Liao sneered and took two steps forward, standing directly in front of Qin Zhan. “Just as I suspected—a sewer rat after all.”

Qin Zhan lifted his eyelids, his expression blank. “Is this amusing to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is treating her like this amusing to you?”

Zhou Liao burst into laughter, as if he’d heard the funniest joke in the world. “What’s this? Are you playing the chivalrous lover? Didn’t get your love reciprocated?”

“If you don’t even like her, why bother?”

As Zhou Liao advanced, he grabbed Qin Zhan’s wrist, his eyes fixed on the dimly lit phone screen. “Still recording? Planning to use it as a love offering?”

Qin Zhan flipped the screen over, revealing a blank display. “You’re overthinking things.”

“Is that so? How obedient,” Zhou Liao smirked. “Then why are you still standing there listening? To hear how I plan to play with her? You’re practically begging for my amusement.”

Qin Zhan’s gaze was as cold as an unmelting sheet of ice. He showed neither fear nor retreat, standing there like an immovable stone.

What Zhou Liao found both repulsive and fascinating was the look Qin Zhan gave him—a gaze from the depths of society, brimming with the nightmares this man had inflicted upon him. Yet he also found it amusing, because Qin Zhan was untamable, the world’s ultimate toy.

No matter how many beatings he endured, he remained unbroken, fueling Zhou Liao’s conquest desire until it seemed to consume his entire being. Could a wildfire fear melting a block of frozen ice?

“Tell me your plan.”

“Then I’m changing it now,” Zhou Liao said, patting Qin Zhan’s cheek. “You’ve made her somewhat interesting to me again.”

“I don’t like her,” Qin Zhan said, glancing at Zhou Liao’s hand. He seized Zhou Liao’s wrist, his grip so tight the bones ached. “So there’s no need.”

“You may not like her—perhaps you’re just grateful to her family. But that doesn’t matter. The fact that you’re standing here listening is your declaration to her.” Zhou Liao threw back his head and laughed. He flung off Qin Zhan’s hand, grabbed the man by the collar, and pressed him against the wall, his thumb digging into Qin Zhan’s throat. His voice dripped with amusement. “This mark on your throat—my brand. After today, I wouldn’t mind adding a few more.”

The festering blister had healed, leaving only a crescent-shaped scar—new flesh grown over the burn.

Chen Xian stood silently to the side, unwilling to involve himself in anything related to Qin Zhan and too afraid to stop Zhou Liao. At most, he would offer a warning if Zhou Liao went too far, but these days, Zhou Liao never called on him when things went wrong. Chen Xian had never been present during any of Qin Zhan’s bullying episodes, and he understood Zhou Liao’s attitude and intentions perfectly.

The three of them stood alone in the quiet corridor. Qin Zhan stared at Zhou Liao without speaking, his gaze still detached and distant. Compared to Zhou Liao’s plan against Bai Ling, he seemed completely indifferent to how Zhou Liao might torture him verbally, not even bothering to respond.

“Oh, by the way, you still haven’t paid me back for the hospital bill. You didn’t think I was actually paying for you, did you?”

“I didn’t ask you to take me there.”

“Then what if you’d died in front of me? My girlfriend was so worried about you.” Zhou Liao emphasized the word “girlfriend” deliberately. “I had to put on a show, you know? To show her how good I am to her ‘friend’.”

“Then stop pretending to be rich.”

Zhou Liao seemed genuinely surprised that Qin Zhan would dare to speak to him like that. He burst into laughter, this sharp retort finally making Qin Zhan look like a living person again.

“Too bad. I’ve already done what I’ve done, so you owe me,” Zhou Liao said, crossing his arms. “I know you’re a bit strapped for cash lately, so let’s push the payment back to the week after next. I’ll give you some time. Aren’t I so understanding?”

“…..”

Zhou Liao turned to pick up his bag from the floor, then turned back to remind Qin Zhan again.

“Oh, one more thing. You don’t need to tell Bai Ling about my plan anymore. It seems it won’t come to fruition, because…” Zhou Liao tilted his head, a mocking smile playing on his lips. “Thanks to you, I’ve actually grown quite fond of her.”

Bai Ling still hadn’t replied to Qin Zhan’s message. He had sent only one text, a tentative probe, knowing Zhou Liao had likely discovered his efforts. But at least he had tried. He would still go to Bai Ling’s house on Saturday.

After work, carrying a black plastic bag, he passed by the nearby city canal when someone suddenly rushed up to him in a panic, begging him to save a child who had fallen into the water. They claimed the child’s father, having had an affair, had personally thrown the child in with his mistress. The mother, long subjected to domestic abuse, had abandoned the child as well.

Qin Zhan lowered his gaze to glance at the frail middle-aged woman before him.

“Quick, save him, young man! The child’s so small!”

“Calling out to him won’t help! If he can’t swim, we’ll just have another person drowning! Let’s wait for the police!”

“The police will take too long to get here! The child’s already hypothermic! It’s heartbreaking! I can’t just stand here and watch someone die right in front of me, especially a child!”

Qin Zhan turned his head slightly. A faint silhouette of a head was visible on the river’s surface.

“Let me hold that for you, young man. Can you swim? Please, go save him!”

The middle-aged woman reached for the bag in his hand. Before Qin Zhan could react, she snatched it away, causing its contents—a matte silver dog leash—to spill onto the ground.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, quickly gathering the items and stuffing them back into the bag. “Please, can you swim? Would you go save him?”

Qin Zhan could swim—and he was an excellent swimmer. He watched the head about to disappear beneath the surface, surrounded by a crowd of middle-aged and elderly bystanders offering frantic advice. Expressionless, he turned back to the woman.

“I’m sorry, I can’t swim.”

What does it matter to me? he thought. Those who aren’t loved are better off dead.