Chapter 51 – Epilogues

Epilogue 1

In early March 2010, He Fei’s grandfather passed away. Overnight, He Fei felt he had truly grown up.

By the end of March, He Fei narrowly escaped death.

Originally, he and three colleagues had gone to Tianjin for a bidding meeting. Before departure, they drank, and He Fei accidentally had too much. He was stuffed into the back seat by his colleagues when they set off. The car crashed on the Beijing-Tianjin Expressway—the two colleagues in the front seats died on the spot, while He Fei and another colleague in the back were severely injured.

Shi Zhuo notified Xiang Lei. Thinking Shi Zhuo might be understating the situation, Xiang Lei, with a nearly shattered heart, rushed back to Beijing without stopping. Walking down the hospital corridor, every step felt weak, as if he might collapse at any moment, never to find the strength to stand again.

What is love? To Xiang Lei now, it seemed nothing more than a desire soaked deep into flesh and blood—a desire often forced to confront morality, reason, and the cold judgment of the world. And inevitably, it was only at the edge of life and death that this reckless desire could finally take the upper hand.

The melodramatic plots from novels wouldn’t all fucking come knocking at my door!—Xiang Lei told himself.

Xiang Lei pushed open the door to the hospital room and immediately saw He Fei wrapped in bandages like a mummy. Seeing that his face was still full of vitality, Xiang Lei finally let out a long breath. Those initially dull eyes suddenly became bright and clear the moment they spotted Xiang Lei. At that moment, Xiang Lei felt a sharp pang in his heart.

“Are you fucking addicted to this? This is the third time I’ve come to a place like this to see you!” Xiang Lei scolded.

He Fei on the hospital bed and Shi Zhuo by his side both chuckled silently.

“You’re finally here. Take over for me—I’ve been starving for ages!” Shi Zhuo said as he walked out of the room.

Xiang Lei crouched beside the bed and asked softly, “What’s the situation?”

“My leg got crushed. A few bones shattered. Gonna take a few months to heal. Fuck, I’m lucky—nothing wrong above the knees.” He Fei said with a dismissive expression.

“Shi Zhuo said you were drunk before the accident. Still planning to drink after this?”

“If I hadn’t been drunk, I would’ve been the one driving, and I’d be the one dead now.”

“Bullshit! If you hadn’t been drunk and were driving, maybe the accident wouldn’t have happened!”

“Let’s not talk about this. When they brought me in yesterday, I suddenly thought of something.”

“What?”

“Did you ever write a novel about us?” He Fei asked with a serious face.

“No.”

“Oh. I thought you did.” He Fei’s eyes showed a hint of disappointment. “When they wheeled me into the hospital yesterday, I was kinda out of it, wanted to speak but couldn’t. I heard the doctor checking on my two colleagues say, ‘No hope, no hope,’ and I figured I might not be so lucky either. Right then, I thought, if you had written a novel about us, this time you wouldn’t even need to make up a tragedy—it’d just be a cliché, another car crash.”

As He Fei spoke, he cracked a smile, then grinned foolishly.

“So dumb!” Xiang Lei laughed too, though his nose tingled with emotion.

“Tell me, if it really were like that and you wrote it, would people believe it?” He Fei pressed.

“Of course some wouldn’t. It’s the cheesiest trope ever! Jumping straight off a hotel rooftop would’ve been better than this!”

He Fei burst into happy laughter. At that moment, Xiang Lei gently reached for his hand.

“When you get better, let’s go to Yunnan right away, okay? Just the two of us. I’ll use up all my vacation days this year—no point saving them! Don’t worry, no matter what happens, we’re going!” Xiang Lei said.

“Deal. If you dare not go, I’ll kidnap your godson!”

“Would that even count as kidnapping? You’d be doing me a favor! That kid’s been spoiled rotten by his parents—he’s a handful now!”

“Better than being so quiet you can’t get a word out of him! A kid like that will go far when he grows up!”

Just then, the “real” He Fei suddenly pushed the door open. Xiang Lei hastily withdrew his hand. He Fei’s parents and aunt followed into the room. He Fei introduced Xiang Lei, who awkwardly greeted them one by one.

Then Xiang Lei leaned down and said to He Fei, “I’ll come see you again tomorrow.”

He Fei grabbed Xiang Lei’s hand—lightly, weakly—but as soon as Xiang Lei stood up, the hand slipped away.

Watching Xiang Lei say goodbye to his parents and aunt, He Fei suddenly teared up. As Xiang Lei walked out the door, He Fei couldn’t hold back his sobs. He Fei kept feeling like Xiang Lei might never return again, kept fearing he’d never be able to find him once more. He Fei wanted to call out to him, but the flood of tears seemed to choke his throat, leaving him unable to make a sound.

“Xu Menghu! Xu Menghu!” His parents bent over him, calling his name in turns.

They could never understand what their son was bidding farewell to—something worth crying over so desperately, so selflessly.

He Fei’s tear-filled eyes remained fixed on the hospital room door, as if beyond it lay an entirely different world.

His cousin followed Xiang Lei out of the ward and called out to him at the end of the hallway. Xiang Lei turned to look at him, clutched his head, and slumped into a chair nearby.

“You two…” The cousin trailed off.

“I wanted to be someone without regrets, but no matter what, it seems I can’t escape guilt.”

Since it was more of a soliloquy, Xiang Lei didn’t care whether the “real” He Fei beside him could understand.

Epilogue 2

On the third day of the 2010 National Day holiday, He Fei and Xiang Lei attended my wedding together.

During the banquet, Xiang Lei answered a call and stepped outside. He Fei then leaned closer to me and asked, “Boss, when exactly are you gonna start writing that novel?”

“Just started,” I said.

“Have you figured out how to end it?” He Fei pressed.

“Not yet. I think by the time I reach the end, I’ll naturally know how it should conclude,” I replied.

“I’ve already brainstormed it for you. Wanna hear it?” He Fei grinned.

“Sure, send it to my email another day.”

“Why wait? I’ve got it right here!”

With that, He Fei pulled up an electronic document on his phone and showed it to me.

While clumsily bandaging a cut on my hand, my phone rang. It was He Fei. Assuming it wasn’t urgent, I planned to call him back after tending to my wound.

But the guy wouldn’t stop calling, so I answered, blood still dripping from my hand.

“Boss! Guess where I am right now?” A 28-year-old He Fei sounded like an 8-year-old brat!

“Let me call you back later. I cut my hand and I’m bandaging it!”

“No no no, guess who’s with me?” The brat was relentless.

“Guess my ass! I’m bleeding here!”

“You’re a big guy—you won’t bleed out that fast! Fine, I’ll tell you—I’m at Jade Dragon Snow Mountain! If this height were in Beijing, looking down at you would be like staring at an ant…”

Before I could reply, He Fei suddenly yelled: “You trying to die?! Stay inside!”

Then the call cut out.

That was all He Fei showed me for the ending—the full text above. Now I’m wondering: should I use this ending?

— The End —