SLC 72

“I’m sorry.”

Kim Jinkyung went to Seo Sangil’s place, and the moment the door opened, he dropped to his knees in the entryway.

“Sorry. I’m really sorry. I was wrong. I have no excuse. This is completely my fault.”

He had completely forgotten the friend who bought him a plane ticket to Australia and even asked his uncle to arrange a place for him to stay.

“……”

“Sangil. I was really wrong. I won’t ask you to forgive me. I seriously messed up…”

The moment he saw the photo of strawberry pancakes, Kim Jinkyung begged a bookstore employee to lend him a phone and called his friend.

Seo Sangil usually did not answer calls from unfamiliar numbers, so Kim Jinkyung was nervous, praying desperately for him to pick up.

‘Hello.’

The moment he heard Seo Sangil’s voice, Kim Jinkyung called out, “Sangil-ah,” with a trembling voice.

‘Who… Kim Jinkyung? Is that really you, Kim Jinkyung?’

‘Yeah, it’s me…’

‘Are you that bastard?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re alive, right? You’re safe, right?’

‘…Yeah.’

‘Yeah. Then go die.’

Sangil abruptly hung up. Kim Jinkyung thanked the bookstore employee and returned the phone. He immediately caught a taxi and went to Seo Sangil’s place.

He rang the bell, and the moment the door opened, Kim Jinkyung fell to his knees without a second thought and bowed his head in apology.

A sneaker flew toward Kim Jinkyung’s head. The top of his head ached from getting hit by the smelly shoe, but Kim Jinkyung couldn’t show that he was in pain.

“Sorry.”

“I told you to go die, so why did you come here?”

“I’m really sorry… There were circumstances, but… I’m sorry.”

“Circumstances? Fuck, I don’t care what kind of circumstances made you disappear like that without even a single call. Get lost, you piece of shit.”

This time, a slipper flew at Kim Jinkyung’s face.

“Fuck, do you have any idea how much I searched for you after you disappeared like that?”

Seo Sangil hurled curses at him, veins bulging in his neck.

“They said you never arrived at the airport in Australia, so I kept telling my uncle to look for you. Shit, you fucking bastard!”

Sneakers, dress shoes, the remaining slipper, they came flying one after another. Kim Jinkyung was so sorry that he could not even lift his head. He really had no excuse.

“I thought you were…fuck.”

Seo Sangil grabbed Kim Jinkyung by the collar and pulled him to his feet. Seo Sangil, who had been sneering, stared at Kim Jinkyung and muttered,

“I thought you were dead…”

Only then did Kim Jinkyung notice that Seo Sangil’s eyes were slightly red. He felt sorry.

“I thought you went somewhere, took drugs, and died. I even went to the police several times…”

“…I’m sorry.”

From the perspective of someone who watched his friend barely eat and lose his grip on reality, it was only natural that he was worried.

“It’s still not too late, so get out and die now, you fucker.”

Seo Sangil pushed Kim Jinkyung, went into his room, and slammed the door. Jung Ahyeon, who had been sitting on the sofa and watching everything, swallowed another bite of her ice cream and spoke.

“Try to understand him. After you lost contact, he completely lost it. He should have just let you sulk in the room, but instead he tried to send you to Australia and then you went missing.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Kim Jinkyung apologized to Jung Ahyeon as well. She had lent him her room, and she was the one who stayed by Seo Sangil’s side and tried to comfort him the whole time.

“He’s simple, so he’ll calm down soon. Just keep apologizing. Buy him meat too.”

“Do you think meat fixes everything? Noona, tell him to get lost!”

Seo Sangil’s angry shout came from inside the room. Jung Ahyeon smiled with an “I told you so” expression and shrugged. Kim Jinkyung closed the front door, cleaned up the scattered shoes, sat on the sofa, and waited for his friend to come out.

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“Haa… ha…”

Kim Jinkyung ran until he was out of breath. He checked the time, and it was already well past 10 pm.

I’m dead. I’m really dead.

Seo Sangil didn’t calm down. Normally, he would have joked about being treated to meat twenty times or demanded top grade beef, but he didn’t even open the door. After waiting for a long time, Kim Jinkyung knocked.

‘Sangil-ah. If you don’t want to see my face, I’ll leave for today. I’ll contact you again later…’

At that moment, the door opened again.

‘You fucking bastard. You waited just one hour and you’re leaving? You don’t have a shred of loyalty, you worthless piece of shit.’

Seo Sangil was an athlete, and his language was rough. But he usually did not curse at Kim Jinkyung the way he did with teammates.

‘You fucking piece of trash. I’m a fucking idiot for worrying about someone like you!’

But today, it was like all his restraints had snapped, and he cursed nonstop.

‘Sorry for making you worry.’

‘I didn’t worry about you at all!’

Jung Ahyeon clicked her tongue and looked at her boyfriend contradict himself on the spot. In the end, with Jung Ahyeon’s mediation, the three of them went to a beef restaurant near the house and made peace over meat and soju. Seo Sangil sweared the entire time, and Kim Jinkyung incessantly apologized, but it ended well.

The problem was this.

“…Why aren’t you answering the phone? You’re making me anxious.”

Even while eating, Kim Jinkyung borrowed Seo Sangil’s phone and called Mok Seongha several times, leaving messages as well. There was no response.

I’m eating with Sangil right now. I’ll come back as early as possible. I’m sorry.

Are you angry? I’m sorry.

I’ll be there by 8. I’m sorry.

I’m really sorry. The conversation is taking longer than expected. I made a really big mistake with Sangil, so I’m listening to him right now. I’ll explain everything when I get home. I’ll be back a little after 9.

Between sending messages, he continued calling. But Mok Seongha did not respond even once.

When Kim Jinkyung said he still did not have a phone, Seo Sangil handed over his own.

‘Then what are you going to do?’

‘Bring it back early tomorrow morning, you fucker. By 9 am. If you are late tomorrow too, just take the phone and go die.’

Kim Jinkyung thanked his friend. He called Mok Seongha the entire way home, but by then, all he heard was the automated message saying the phone was turned off.

As soon as he got out of the taxi, he ran all the way to the mansion. He went up the hill and rang the bell. The intercom turned on, and the door opened.

Secretary Kang was waiting for him in front of the garden.

“I’m sorry. I’m late.”

“Yes. I see.”

“…Seongha-ssi is…”

“He is in the glass garden.”

“Thank you.”

Kim Jinkyung was about to head to the glass garden when he suddenly stopped.

“Don’t tell me he’s…”

“Yes.”

So that was why he could not answer the phone.

Kim Jinkyung sighed. He ran to the glass garden and opened the door. A huge black body curled up in the corner came into view.

“Seongha-ssi.”

Kim Jinkyung called him, but he did not move a single hair. He must be very angry.

Kim Jinkyung set his bag down on the bench and walked toward the black panther.

“I’m sorry. I’ll explain… No, regardless of the reason, this is my fault.”

Kim Jinkyung knelt on one knee on the floor. He had knelt twice in a single day. He never thought a day would come when he would confess this much guilt in his life.

“I’m sorry.”

Kim Jinkyung stroked the panther’s back. The tail snapped like a whip and slapped his hand away.

Don’t touch.

Kim Jinkyung gave an awkward smile, rubbed the stinging back of his hand, and looked at the panther lying flat against the floor.

“Did you eat?”

The panther buried his head between his front paws. He did not want to talk. He was really angry.

“…I made a big mistake with Sangil.”

Kim Jinkyung decided to confess everything.

“Sangil’s uncle lives in Australia, so I was going to stay there for a bit. Sangil even bought the ticket to Australia for me. But I did not get on the plane, so he got extremely worried.”

When Kim Jinkyung did not show up even after the arrival time passed, the uncle called his nephew. He asked if Kim Jinkyung was really supposed to come.

‘Of course. I even put him on the bus to the airport.’

–But he never came. I stayed an extra hour after the last passenger came out. Do you have his phone number or anything?

Up until then, Seo Sangil thought his friend, who had no sense of direction, was probably wandering around the airport. He told his uncle to go back and wait and decided to wait for Kim Jinkyung to contact him.

He was sure Kim Jinkyung would call after getting lost somewhere.

But he didn’t receive a call that day. One day passed, then two. Feeling that something was wrong, Seo Sangil called the airline and asked whether his friend had left the country. The answer was that they couldn’t confirm due to privacy protection and aviation security laws.

Maybe he arrived in Australia and was late because he was looking at koalas or kangaroos. That bastard liked animals. That had to be it.

While he was gnawing on his nails and trying to reassure himself, Jung Ahyeon grabbed him by the back of the neck.

‘In cases like this, shouldn’t you call the police?’

Seo Sangil ran to the police station. He explained the situation, but they told him that it was difficult to file a missing person report for an adult without a report from family.

It drove him insane. He could not bring himself to contact his friend’s parents, who were farming in the countryside, and tell them that their son might be missing. Seo Sangil went to the police station every day. He said that his friend boarded a plane and then went completely out of contact. He begged them to help. Because Seo Sangil was so persistent, the police eventually sent a cooperation request and only confirmed that Kim Jinkyung hadn’t boarded the plane.

Mok Seongha, who had suddenly transformed, grabbed Kim Jinkyung’s shoulders.

“Oh, you’re back…”

“Why couldn’t you eat? Were you sick? What about now? Are you okay now?”

Even while angry, the man worried about him. Kim Jinkyung looked at him and gave a small nod.

“I’m okay.”

“Why did you do that?”

“…I don’t know.”

Even now, Kim Jinkyung thought he had been a mess back then. He lost his sense of time, his appetite, his ability to think rationally. He lay under the sheets all day and replayed everything about Mok Seongha. Each time he lifted his head, another day had passed.

When he watched movies where people stopped eating and fell apart after a breakup, he never understood it.

A relationship ending did not mean his life ended too. He thought feelings for someone were like a bonus that appeared occasionally in life. It was nice to have, but it wasn’t uncomfortable to live without it.

After running away and leaving Mok Seongha behind, Kim Jinkyung thought those overwhelming feelings would calm down. He believed his life would return to its original track.

But as time passed, nothing returned to its place. Only then did Kim Jinkyung realize that he had completely fallen off his life’s track. He also realized that he would never be able to go back to before.

“I thought about the contract.”

“Huh?”

When Kim Jinkyung brought it up, a light of joy flickered in Mok Seongha’s eyes.

“I think it’s right not to sign it. No, I won’t sign it.”

The pupils of his golden eyes narrowed. A low growl escaped from his throat.

“You…”

Mok Seongha bit his lip, forcing himself to hold back his emotions and tried to breath normally.

“I want to stay by your side of my own will, Seongha-ssi.”

He had completely left the track, so now he had to correct it. Accepting a completely different life than before was the right choice.

“I’ll stay by your side because I want to, not because of the contract. I’ll pay the money back. That’s my responsibility. I just need the interest rate to be a less..”

Mok Seongha’s lips cut him off. He closed his eyes and kissed him while holding Kim Jinkyung’s face. It was different from the aggressive, confrontational kiss from that morning. This kiss was gentle and soft, filled with longing.

Kim Jinkyung slowly closed his eyes too.

After a long time passed, their lips grew red and heated from kissing, Mok Seongha rested his forehead against Kim Jinkyung’s.

“…How come you never dated? You kiss this well and you’re good at dating too.”

Mok Seongha muttered, then pulled Kim Jinkyung back into another kiss. Because he leaned his weight into him, they fell onto the dirt floor together. For the first time since he arrived at the mansion, they shared a kiss that wasn’t fueled by anger.

The two of them relished their time together in the flower-filled garden.