YCHW Ch 80

“I just thought… everyone must have suffered a lot. I have probably never felt so helpless in my life.”

“Are you all right?”

“Yes. I am not hurt anywhere, and above all, it is a relief that His Majesty has recovered.”

And the result of this would probably become the ‘innocence’ Hwi had mentioned. That must be why he took me to the hellscape. If the curse incident had not happened, until when would Hwi have postponed taking me with him?

“Oh, what happened with Wan?”

The bedchamber instantly fell silent. Yoonso looked from the tight-lipped Yeondeok to the composed Court Lady Jo in turn before speaking.

“Huije.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“What happened?”

“My apologies. There has been no progress yet.”

“…I see. You may leave. Everyone, except for Yeondeok.”

The court attendants left, and once only Yeondeok remained, his pupils trembled erratically. Yoonso let out a long breath through his nose and stared intently at Yeondeok.

“What is going on?”

“…What do you mean, what is going on?”

“You are hiding something.”

“What would I be hiding?”

“Yeondeok. You, of all people, should not hide things from me.”

If Yeondeok were to hide something from him, no matter how good his intentions were, it felt like it would be terribly disappointing and sad. As the corners of Yoonso’s mouth turned down, Yeondeok paced on the spot, at a loss, before finally squeezing his eyes shut and blurting out the truth.

As I broke off pieces of the oil cake and threw them into the pond, the carp vigorously wagged their tail fins and rushed toward the food. Yoonso absentmindedly followed the creatures moving solely by instinct, focusing only on the act of feeding them.

However, even as he continued the simple, repetitive action, the intrusive thoughts that had ambushed him did not disappear, but kept rising up and spreading through his mind. A sigh burst out like an unbearable cough. Yoonso crumbled the oil cake in his fingertips and bit his lip.

He had never, ever imagined that Wan would take his own life. Had his mind changed after hearing the message that his family would be saved? Had he believed those words, changed his testimony, and then chosen suicide? Was it out of fear of the mastermind’s retaliation? To prove the truth?

Perhaps it would have been better not to have delivered the message. It was hard to bear, feeling as if Wan had died because of his momentary choice. How could a child, only fifteen years old, take his own life…

“They are having a feast today.”

A low voice fell from behind him, along with an approaching presence. Yoonso, who had been sitting undignifiedly in front of the pond, dusted off his bottom, stood up, and turned around.

“Why the long face? Whoever did it, I must give them a good scolding.”

“Your Majesty… That child…”

The tears he had been holding back burst out as soon as he saw Hwi. Yoonso clenched the hem of his clothes with a tearful face. Hwi strode over and took Yoonso’s hand, then had him uncurl his balled-up fingers.

“Because of me…”

Hwi, with a casual expression, drew on Yoonso’s palm with his fingertip. At the action, which was like writing a character, Yoonso dazedly followed his movement before freezing.

生.

Unless he had seen it wrong, this character was clearly ‘生,’ meaning life. He is alive? Wan?

“B-but, he definitely…”

“If they present us with a lie, we can simply respond with a lie of our own.”

I did not know what was a lie from where to where, but what was important was the fact that Wan was alive. If Hwi had faked Wan’s death, he must have also helped the child live safely away from the mastermind. I never thought he would arrange things this way when he left without giving an answer back then…

“Thank you.”

Yoonso let out a long, tear-tinged sigh and fell into Hwi’s embrace. Hwi stroked the nape of Yoonso’s neck, tickling him.

“I ordered them to keep their mouths shut, but seeing as the word has leaked, your lady must have a very loose tongue. What should I do about this?”

“…Yeondeok only cares for me very much.”

Worried that Yeondeok might get into trouble, Yoonso lifted his head and studied Hwi’s expression. Hwi looked down at Yoonso with gentle eyes and rubbed his skin in circles with his thumb.

“I regret to say this, but it would be best for you to take this incident as a lesson and not trust those belonging to this palace too easily.”

“I do not want to.”

Hwi’s eyebrow quirked up. Yoonso took his hand and wrapped it with his own.

“Who does it benefit to not trust people? I will not be swayed by them in any way. Of course I must be careful, but I will live as I am.”

A faint smile slowly spread across the lips of Hwi, who had been gazing down at Yoonso.

“Yes. That is very good. I like that.”

Hwi interlaced their fingers and started walking. His face was serene, and the sound of the wind shaking the flowering branches was tranquil.

Wan was safe, his name was cleared, and although I did not know what grudge that registrar named Kang Pilseok held, or who was behind him, the matter had been resolved one way or another. Thinking that he could finally rest a little, the tension left his shoulders.

“You should take a nap. You must be tired.”

“Will Your Majesty be joining me?”

“I shall.”

Hearing Hwi’s faint laughter, he turned to see that he had been swinging their clasped hands without realizing it. Yoonso put his arm back in place and deliberately put on a calm expression. However, as they passed by the court attendants, he could not quite manage his flustered look.

When they reached the bedchamber and lay on the same bed, gazing at each other quietly, no idle thoughts came to mind, and his heart was simply calm. Yoonso traced Hwi’s coolly extended eyebrows and asked.

“By the way, Your Majesty.”

“Yes.”

“Is your childhood name really Yeongwan?”

“Yes.”

As the corners of Yoonso’s mouth twitched, Hwi let out a short laugh.

“Why do you ask?”

“Yeongwan… It is a cute childhood name.”

“Do you mean it does not suit me?”

“…”

“How do you know I was not cute when I was young?”

Hwi’s attitude, calling his younger self cute, was shameless. But he could not bring himself to deny his statement. If nothing else, his appearance must have surely been lovely.

He desperately wanted to know what he was like as a child. It was just a great shame that there was no way to see his childhood.

“Were you a quiet child, Your Majesty?”

“I would like to answer yes, but there are too many witnesses, so I cannot bring myself to do so.”

“Since you had your first night so early, I feel like you could not have lived entirely as a child.”

“Mm.”

Hwi gently swept a line from Yoonso’s forehead down to his ear. As warmth bloomed along the path Hwi’s hand had touched, he realized that his fingertips were no longer cold.

“It was just before the Crown Prince In’s sixteenth birthday. While everyone believed and waited for him to have his first night, I, who was only seven, had mine, so it was a completely unexpected event.”

Crown Prince In was the legitimate eldest son born between the late emperor and the empress dowager, and Hwi’s full-blooded brother. The title he used to refer to him felt distant, and although he wondered if Hwi was also cold toward his brother, he did not ask.

“My memories from before my first night are faint. In any case, being born into the royal family, it is impossible to live like a child from a commoner’s household, and I sometimes think it was a relief to have had my first night early.”

Hwi did not add a reason, but I could understand his heart. If he had had his first night after he had grown older and had dreamed, desired, and wished for something, it would have been much harder to endure having all paths but one erased.

But I did not think that was better. It was as if Hwi had been pushed along without even getting a chance to desire something.

“Your situation and mine are different. You do not need to worry.”

Hwi covered Yoonso’s eyes with his palm. Yoonso took Hwi’s hand and pulled it down, then swallowed a sigh.

“Your eyes are wide awake. Can you really take a nap like that?”

“Watching you sleep is a sweet slumber for me.”

He wanted to return Hwi’s words to him. Yoonso placed his hand on his chest and patted it gently. An amused smile appeared on Hwi’s lips.

He hoped he would get some sweet sleep, even for a moment. So many things had happened recently. He wondered if infusing some guardian energy would bring on a wave of drowsiness, and it was the moment he was channeling power through his fingertips. In an instant, the guardian energy gushed out and rushed toward Hwi.

“Oh…!”

Yoonso, flustered, pulled his hand away and quickly withdrew the guardian energy, then checked on Hwi. He had his eyes closed, exactly like a person who had fallen asleep.

“Your Majesty…?”

He frantically brought his fingers under Hwi’s nose and felt his breath. Yoonso had no idea what was going on and looked closely at Hwi’s face.

“Are you sleeping?”

Even as he guessed that he had fallen asleep, he could not completely erase his feeling of anxiety. Yoonso called out softly toward the door.

“Huije? Jeongju?”

The door opened silently, and Huije came inside. Huije’s eyes widened as he looked back and forth between Hwi and Yoonso.

“Summon the royal physician.”

“…Yes, Your Highness.”

As Huije left, Yoonso clenched and unclenched his hand, trying to grasp the sense of déjà vu that had washed over him. Yoonso’s brow furrowed as he searched his memory.

Yoonso finally recalled the Yongrin he had encountered the moment he escaped from his family home. The guardian energy that had slipped from his hand then, and the Yongrin who had suddenly fainted. Was not this similar to the sensation, the situation, of that time?