NUTMEG 38

Wonoh smiled and wrapped an arm around Teacher Yeonja’s back. The teacher smiled back at Wonoh. Amid everyone’s applause, the teacher, whose final scene had just wrapped, had her manager hand out small, individually wrapped packages that had been brought in a box. When Minje opened the pretty package, which even had a dried flower attached, he found a fragrant bar of soap and a card inside. The teacher had prepared gifts that she had made herself.

“I may not be good at cooking, but I have a knack for crafts. It’s made with natural ingredients, so you can use it to wash your hands or your face.”

One of the youngest staff members teared up upon seeing the card, which even had her name written on it. Minje, too, read and reread the heartfelt card filled with kind words. His first thought was guilt for not having prepared anything, but as he looked at the card and soap, filled with warm feelings, a thought naturally came to mind.

A gift.

For three months, Minje had received so much from everyone on the film set.

Dozens of staff members sometimes clung to a single supporting actor like Minje, enduring filming that stretched late into the night. They all arrived earlier and stayed later than Minje. When he asked Section Chief Park Youngmi of the costume team, with whom he’d gotten a little closer after Lee Jingi spilled food on his costume, “You must be so tired,” she would just laugh and say, “The actors have it the hardest.”

Since Minje didn’t have a manager with him, Yoo Minkang, the youngest member of the planning team, would hold an umbrella over him during outdoor shoots. The sun had become quite strong as summer began in earnest. Every time, Minje would jump up and take the umbrella from him.

Hyesle from the behind-the-scenes team, Areum from the makeup team, and so many other staff members. Minje hadn’t realized so many staff members were attached to him, working for him. No, the Minje of his past life had known, of course. But back then, he must have thought it was only natural. He must have thought they were all hell-bent on selling him out, that in reality, they all hated and looked down on him.

In the middle of the crowd, Wonoh was smelling the soap and saying something to the teacher. He was probably thanking her.

Minje had received many things from Wonoh over the past months as well. The drinks and products he advertised were constantly pouring onto the set. Wonoh always set aside items for the four of them who shared the dorm. They weren’t exactly gifts for him, but since not many of the clothes fit Director Im, they always ended up with Minje. He had always felt a little uneasy just receiving things. No, actually, that was just an excuse; he also wanted to give Wonoh something memorable.

Perhaps the wrap-up party in two weeks, when filming ended, would be the last chance to give a heartfelt gift to Wonoh, and to everyone else.

“Minje, I was so happy for the past three months, it felt like I gained two grandsons. You’re going to keep acting, right? You have no idea how much I praise you to the people around me.”

“Ah, Teacher.”

Teacher Yeonja came over to Minje’s side and smiled brightly. Minje, lost in his own thoughts, was momentarily surprised, but he was able to naturally hide his surprised expression thanks to the teacher wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly first.

The short teacher was being held by Minje, but somehow it felt like Minje was the one being enveloped in her broad embrace. Then, memories of the past three months with Wonoh, Director Im, and the teacher naturally came to mind, and Minje tightened his arms around her.

There were so, so many memories. How none of the four of them had a hobby of cooking, so they ate only toast and cereal every morning; the late-night snacks they paid for by playing ladder games on nights when all four of them were there; how the director had thrown a fit because everyone took just one bite, saying they’d get bloated, and put it down; how the teacher had offered to teach them yoga, and soon they were all sitting in the living room in the same pose…

Thinking back on it, he felt ashamed of himself for having his mind so full of thoughts about Choi Wonoh recently. They had been so good to him, and he had even forgotten about her last day of filming.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t prepare anything…”

Minje slightly loosened his embrace to look at the teacher’s face. He was about to say that he would prepare double what he had received for the wrap-up party.

“I received such a beautiful flower basket, what more could I ask for? Thank you so much. The flowers are all so pretty, just like you, Minje.”

“Pardon?” he said, blinking. Over the teacher’s shoulder, he saw a familiar face. When their eyes met, Wonoh squeezed Minje’s shoulder once as he passed by. His heart pounded at the casual touch.

“Wonoh said he prepared it with you?”

“Ah… yes. That’s right.”

He quickly changed his story and glanced at Wonoh’s back again. When he had replied to Wonoh’s message saying he was on his way to Paju for the teacher’s last shoot by admitting he’d forgotten, Wonoh must have thought of him.

Every time Wonoh did something like this, Minje found it difficult to calm his heart that was jumping so far ahead on its own. No matter how he thought about it, his consideration was extraordinary. Or was it? He kept attaching meaning to every little thing, getting his hopes up, and then being disappointed again. It was a complete rollercoaster.

Thinking about it coolly, he realized that Wonoh would have done the same thing even if it had been Director Im who had forgotten the gift. Wonoh wasn’t the type to show off with gifts like this or try to stand out. As his thoughts reached that point, a feeling akin to disappointment washed over him, and his heart finally calmed down.

On the pretext that the full wrap-up party was only two weeks away, they had a simple get-together today with just the dorm members and the assistant director. This time, too, the snacks were various delivery foods like sliced cuttlefish sashimi and bossam. As their soju glasses clinked, Im Kihwan kept his nose buried in the soap, sniffing. The assistant director only poured water into Minje’s glass.

“Sunbae-nim, this is really the first time I’ve received a gift like this. It smells so good.”

“Director Im said he’s been having trouble sleeping lately, so I used a different aroma especially for him. I hope it helps.”

“Wow, really. You’re the only one who thinks of me, sunbae-nim. I’m so touched.”

Just as the teacher said she’d paid special attention, Director Im’s soap came in three different colors. Minje looked at the soaps on the table and, following his stream of consciousness, thought about the gift he would give Wonoh in two weeks. Just then, as if reading Minje’s mind, Director Im asked Wonoh.

“Wonoh, you must get a lot of gifts like this from your fans.”

“I get a lot.”

“Where do you put them all?”

“I put them in one room. Ah, maybe two.”

“Suddenly you’re annoying.”

Muttering that it was tough being a commoner, Kihwan gulped down his soju. Everyone laughed watching him.

Right, Wonoh must get a lot of gifts. Minje, too, had received all sorts of gifts during his idol days. From a fan’s own oil painting of his face on a canvas as tall as him, to expensive luxury watches. If he had been like that, Wonoh must be even more so.

He probably wouldn’t be surprised or find anything special, no matter what he received. In that case, he probably wouldn’t care much about what he got, so would it be okay to give him something a little extravagant? Or not. It’s just a gift for the end of filming, so something too extravagant would be a bit much, right? Why am I worrying about this so much? He was frustrated with himself for overthinking everything. It’s not like he’d ever liked someone before.

“Hyung. Why do you keep looking at me?”

Wonoh, sitting across from him, was smiling with one corner of his mouth raised. Surprised by the sudden question, Minje’s mouth hung open for a moment before he finally answered.

“Huh? I wasn’t looking.”

“Yes, you were. Our eyes kept meeting.”

“No, they didn’t…”

“Are you two leaving us out?”

The pointless war of nerves was naturally broken up thanks to the assistant director chiming in at the right moment.

The conversation at the table soon shifted to an evaluation of the in-season cuttlefish sashimi. While he was inwardly relieved, Wonoh’s crescent-shaped eyes remained fixed on his cheek, refusing to leave. Minje pretended not to notice his gaze and moistened his throat with water.

“Hyung. You asleep?”

The drinking session had continued until dawn, and Minje, who had washed up first, must have dozed off.

“Uh… did you wash up?”

“Yeah.”

As Wonoh entered the room, shaking the water from his hair, and sat on the edge of the bed, the springs let out a loud creak and the bed tilted.

“This bed must be completely broken.”

“…Why is it doing this?”

“Maybe someone’s been having sex on it all the time?”

“…”

Too embarrassed to answer, Minje kept his mouth shut.

Just then, with a creak, the world he was lying in shook again. A cold drop of water fell, plink, onto his right cheek, and Minje slowly opened his closed eyes. His bangs, which had now grown to cover half of his forehead, were wet and dripped a second drop. A high, straight nose and almond-shaped eyes curved with mischief were right in front of Minje’s nose.

“Hyung, it’s been a while.”

“…It has.”

Minje blushed by himself. The low, whispering voice felt entirely sensual. Was it because, as he said, it had been too long? He was glad the room’s light was off.

“Are you all better now from being sick?”

Minje swallowed dryly while lying down. Wonoh was probably asking about him being sick because of the knotting, but for a moment, he tensed up, thinking he knew about his hospitalization. If he answered that he was okay, would Wonoh probably want to do it today? It had been a while, and that’s how it usually was on the nights they were together.

Minje had a hunch that today was the day he had to say it.

It was something he had made up his mind about ever since he found out his physical condition was much worse than expected after being hospitalized. He really had to choose now. To have a relationship with him, he had to take out his loop and reveal that he was an omega. If he didn’t want to take out the loop, he had to stop their relationship.

Minje was still hesitating. Wouldn’t just one day be okay? Couldn’t this be the last time? He’d said that regular sex felt better than sex during a rut. In that case, he wanted the last time to be the best memory. But what if his body got messed up again because of it? What if he found out he was an omega in the worst possible way?

Actually, he hated both options. He wanted to stay by his side just like this. His greed just kept growing endlessly. Wonoh would never like someone as greedy and shameless as him.

With a very reluctant expression, Minje managed to speak.

“…You know.”

“Yeah?”

“I want to… stop doing this now.”

The slight smile on Wonoh’s face vanished.

Minje was suddenly terrified by his expression. He hadn’t thought Wonoh would be upset. But Wonoh soon put on a smile again as if nothing had happened and whispered lowly.

“Sex? Why all of a sudden?”

“It’s just, it’s too hard for me. My body hurts. …I’m sorry. Are you mad?”

Minje, a little flustered, rambled on and ended up apologizing. Like a fool, he hadn’t thought of a proper reason. He hadn’t expected him to ask for a reason. He thought Wonoh would just say okay right away.

Was he a little disappointed? Since he’d said he liked having sex with me. A strange sense of hope once again swelled up in his chest without permission. But it was just a delusion, as always. Wonoh pulled his upper body back as if it was nothing at all.

“Okay. I get it.”

“Ah…”

“Then it’s probably a bit weird for us to sleep together. The bed’s small, too. You go to sleep first.”

And with that, he left the room.

“…”

Minje was left alone in the dark room, clutching the thin blanket tightly. He gripped it so hard that blue veins popped out on the back of his whitened hand. It felt like tears would fall if someone so much as touched him. I can’t cry. How pathetic would it be if Wonoh came back to the room and I was crying?

Instead, his chin began to tremble. He hadn’t thought Wonoh would turn cold so quickly. No, actually, he had expected it, but seeing it happen right in front of him was a shock. It was much better than the contemptuous face he had seen in his past life, but it was still shocking.

Is it over now…?

There were still two weeks of filming left. So our friendship is over already, too.

If I had known this would happen, I would have said it a little later.

What do I do? My chest hurt so much.

He had never felt like such a fool as he did today.

“This is the last time Minje will be wearing these clothes, too.”