ITDW 52

The movement of his fingers suddenly stopped. They were buried all the way in.

“Am I punishing you right now?”

“…No.”

“What did I say I was doing right now.”

“…Speech… education… how to… make a request….”

Jaeri answered diligently.

“Then why are you saying you were wrong. Are you not paying attention?”

“I- I will.”

“If you don’t want to get fucked by my cock right here, get your head straight and answer properly. Understood?”

“Yes….”

At the end of his stern words, his fingers gently slid out, and he lightly rubbed the area around the hole. As if to help him relax.

“Eumm…. Eung….”

“So then, what should Jaeri have asked for earlier?”

Even his voice was gentle.

“Haah… earlier, hng, hyung, I…. Heut, I should have said ‘please touch my dick’.”

Jaeri swallowed his shame and said it quickly. He heard him chuckle from above.

“That’s not it.”

“…Huh? Why….”

“Look at this.”

He slid his middle finger back into Jaeri’s hole, swoosh, and skillfully found his prostate. He caressed that area, then touched it rhythmically. Tap, tap, tap.

“Aht, ah, ah!”

“Now, repeat after me.”

“Heut, ha, heut! Ahh!”

“Hyung, in my hole.”

His vision went dark so he could barely see in front of him, his mind was red, and with his playful touch, only pleasure was pounding down on him, leaving no room to think.

“Hng… hyung, heut…! My, my… haah… hole.”

“Put your finger, all the way in, please.”

“Th- hng, that, fin, ger… eut! All the way! Ha, put it…! H-euh… please…. Aht!”

Jaeri climaxed.

His small shoulders trembled, and after climaxing once, he climaxed again with a gush a little later.

“That’s right.”

Jungyoon’s satisfied voice came from above. Jaeri was out of his mind. Sweat poured from his whole body like rain, making his entire body feel slippery like a dolphin’s, and in an instant, all the tension drained from his body. He felt limp, as if he would melt over hyung’s lap, over the chair, or even be absorbed into it.

His own penis, wet from ejaculating, touched his stiffly erect penis. It felt alien, as the only place on his body that felt stiff was where they touched.

“…Hyung.”

“Hm?”

To Jungyoon’s affectionate voice, an exhausted Jaeri spoke weakly.

“…Before, you didn’t finish… teaching me how to suck… a cock….”

Because of his precocious little brother, Jungyoon clenched his teeth.

“Hoo… get up and open your mouth.”

Jaeri got up as he was told and slowly opened his mouth. He wanted to satisfy him.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen Seonyoung, Jaeri thought.

This was the first time he had asked to see Seonyoung first after switching to a depressive phase this time. Nowadays, it did not even feel much like a depressive period. For a brief moment just before falling asleep at night, when he thought about hyung’s future, he would get depressed, but each time, his warmth would be transmitted from his back, making it easy to cover up the sharpness of reality.

He wondered if he was being a little selfish. In fact, he wanted to meet Seonyoung because he had formed a sense of connection with him on his own. He could not tell Seonyoung about his experience, but he wanted to ask what Seonyoung’s first time having sex was like, if it was as ecstatic as his own. Also, he had something to brag about.

Hyung had decided to take him with him on his business trip to Switzerland. It was unheard of for him to take Jaeri on a business trip unless Jaeri was in a very severe depressive or hypomanic state.

“Seonyoung, did you, really have sex with your boyfriend on Christmas?”

Jaeri asked as soon as they met and sat down. At Jaeri’s direct words, Seonyoung was momentarily at a loss for words. He had been just about to ask, “Why is the corner of your mouth split like that? Did something happen?”

He thought Jaeri had become much more interested in sex lately. He was not usually like that, so what was up with him? He had to report any special circumstances to the Vice President, so he wondered what to do. If he explained the background, he would have to reveal too much of his private life to him.

“Yeah.”

Seonyoung answered with a sullen expression.

“How was it?”

Jaeri’s eyes sparkled like never before. Seonyoung answered honestly.

“Well, just. It was nothing special. Sex.”

“Nothing special?”

Jaeri asked back as if it were absurd.

“It’s just fitting bodies together, that’s all.”

“What? Hey, sex is, between people who love each other.”

Jaeri expressed his disbelief with a whooshing sound at the end of each word.

“Sex is just fitting bodies together, you were the one who said that.”

Jaeri shut his mouth. He thought he might have said something like that once. People are usually this indifferent to other people’s affairs. He had probably spoken so rashly because he had rarely thought of sex as his own business.

“…That was, because I, didn’t know much… but still, it’s not fitting bodies together. I don’t, think so.”

“What, do you know so much now?”

“Huh? No… but, I think it would be amazing to do it with someone you like. Like, so good it makes you cry. Don’t you think?”

“I’m telling you it’s not. It just hurt a lot for me.”

Jaeri looked at Seonyoung and smiled without saying anything. It hurt for me too, but it was also incredibly good. Seonyoung, not wanting to talk about it anymore, blatantly changed the subject.

“But by the way, your hyung.”

“…Huh? Yeah.”

“Isn’t he in his 30s now?”

“…Yeah.”

“Then why isn’t he getting married?”

“…Married?”

Jaeri’s face hardened rapidly. Seonyoung had poured ice water over Jaeri’s head.

“I mean, don’t chaebols get married a bit early? Or not.”

Get a grip. Get a grip, Kim Jaeri. Are you not going to get a grip? That was what Seonyoung’s words sounded like.

“…But hyung, for now, he’s not interested in marriage.”

Jaeri said, in his own way, firmly. The faint hint of a smile that had been in his voice until just a moment ago had completely vanished.

“Really? Well then….”

Seonyoung did not say any more. But a chill had already seeped densely into Jaeri’s heart.

“Seonyoung, can you stay with me for a while today?”

In the living room, Jaeri stood with his head bowed low in front of Jungyoon, his hands behind his back in a parade rest position. Jungyoon’s gaze landed on the top of Jaeri’s head, then on his tightly bitten lips, then on his thin shoulders, and finally on his slightly trembling arms.

Jaeri had been meeting with Seonyoung when he was forcibly caught by the head of Security Team 2 and made to return home. Jungyoon, who had been waiting at home, had made Jaeri stand in the middle of the living room for an hour, and had just come out of the study.

There was no particular anger in Jungyoon’s eyes. There was only contemplation and careful observation.

“Jaeri.”

“…Yes, hyung.”

“Hyung was worried. Our Jaeri, not answering calls, not picking up. …What time is it now.”

Jaeri lifted his head to look at the living room clock and answered.

“Eight, thirty….”

They had not set a curfew, but it was an unspoken rule that Jaeri had to be home before Jungyoon got off work. The reason they had not set a curfew was also that Jaeri had never once come home late from outside.

“Why did you do something you don’t usually do?”

At his languid voice, Jaeri lowered his head. In that voice, too, the intention of observation was evident, What is your problem? What are you thinking? Jaeri’s neck turned red.

“……”

“Is an open-ended question too hard to answer? Shall I give you a multiple-choice one then?”

“…Hyung, I was… wrong… I was.”

“Number 1, to get attention. Number 2, because you were thinking useless thoughts on your own. Number 3, because you were thinking useless thoughts on your own and wanted to get attention. Choose.”

“……”

“Still no answer? Ah, now that I think about it, you were meeting with your gay friend, right?”

He said it in a tone as if he had missed an important clue. Jaeri was surprised and snapped his head up. He had not known that hyung knew Seonyoung was gay. He continued speaking with a smile.

“Number 4, to try sleeping with another man, number 5, because you were sleeping with another man, number 6,”

In that way, he urged him to answer quickly.

“N-number 1, hyung….”

“Really?”

Jungyoon’s and Jaeri’s eyes met for a moment, but Jaeri’s gaze fell first. Jaeri flinched, startled. A chill suddenly ran down his shoulders.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be doing a thorough physical examination later.”

“The security team, was there…. You knew, you knew where I was…. Hyung.”

“I haven’t given you a chance to make excuses yet.”

His voice, which had been overly soft, hardened.

“……”

Jaeri’s head drooped lower. His face was turning red. Jungyoon caressed his cheek with the back of his hand.

“Why are you causing so much trouble.”

He sharpened his tone while pretending to be affectionate. It had been a long time since he had seen this side of hyung, so he was, once again, scary and unfamiliar. A certain interest was lodged in the gaze that looked into his eyes. Tears began to well up at that blatant observation, and like Pavlov’s dog, the tears brought forth more sorrowful emotions. And those emotions brought tears, and the tears brought more sorrowful emotions. It was a vicious cycle.

Once the tears started, they continued to flow.

He was so ashamed of that messy flow of emotion, but he could not even wipe away the tears. He was being punished in a parade rest position with his hands behind his back, and he had not yet received permission to release his hands. Jaeri gripped his clasped hands behind his back even tighter.

Tears flowed onto the back of Jungyoon’s hand. Jungyoon watched the tears with an impassive gaze, and simply let the tears flow on the back of his hand.

Jaeri’s face, touching Jungyoon’s hand, grew hotter and hotter, and redder and redder. The crying turned into sobbing.